@carter profile picture
carter @carter

@carter, half-jogging since the '70's. handle goes to the highest bidder. formerly @Atomico, @Skype, @Rdio, @aol, @icq, @betaworks, Cat Dad (“Don Gato”)

Joined February 2007
  • Tweets 127
  • Following 292
  • Followers 493
2 Photos and videos
carter
@carter
Jun 5
This Ozempic isn’t working.
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carter
@carter
1 Nov 2025
Oftentimes, live music isn’t really necessary.
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carter
@carter
2 Nov 2024
San Francisco is simultaneously dangerous and boring. Kind of like my second marriage.
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carter
@carter
27 Apr 2023
Thank you Chat GPT - not just for giving VCs something to do in this market, but also for ensuring I’ll never have to talk directly to my second ex wife again!
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carter
@carter
29 Dec 2022
For the first time in my life I was offered soap.
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carter
@carter
11 Aug 2022
My name for this order? My name is “the only person in this store right now.” Thanks.
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carter
@carter
16 Dec 2021
The only benefit of the blockchain is that people losing money is public.
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carter
@carter
14 Sep 2021
At this point in my life, all my haircuts look like they’ve been performed by a birthing canal.
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carter
@carter
26 Jul 2021
In Spain, one customer constitutes “a surge.”
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carter
@carter
21 Jul 2021
To “ser” or to “estar,” a lifelong quest #somethingrotten
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carter
@carter
21 Jul 2021
American tourists often make me think of how awesome it would be to sometimes not understand English.
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carter
@carter
15 Jul 2021
Birds are weird.
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carter
@carter
9 Jun 2021
Sipping an iced coffee is not a valid reason to put your phone on “speaker” mode.
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carter
@carter
26 May 2021
“I’ve recently installed blackout curtains...” must be the turning point of some twelve step journey.
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carter
@carter
24 Apr 2021
InAtlantic City, guess these stimulus checks need to go somewhere...
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carter
@carter
23 Apr 2021
This lavender “pillow mist” is not fucking working.
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carter
@carter
5 Jan 2021
“Look, you can have work done to your nose, and you can have work done to your lips. But I’m not going to pay for them both.” -Starbucks, Columbus Circle
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carter
@carter
11 Oct 2020
My first child made me feel like I was the producer/director of my own biopic.  My second child helped me realize that I was only food service.
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carter
@carter
19 Sep 2020
Has anyone else had meaningful results on this new “Mezcal Diet”?
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carter
@carter
18 Sep 2020
Does my lawyer work for me, or do I work for my lawyer?
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