You’re walking your dog on a crisp fall afternoon in Chicago. The leaves are gold, the air is calm… it’s one of those picture-perfect moments that makes you love this city. Then, out of nowhere, the peace shatters. Whistles. Men in masks. Smoke rolling down your block. You can’t see. You’re coughing. Your dog is howling. This isn’t a war zone. It’s Chicago… and ICE just tear-gassed your neighborhood. That was reality today in Lakeview, one of the wealthiest, quietest parts of the city. No “threat.” No warning. Just more proof that no neighborhood is safe from ICE’s violence.

Kicking off a new season of Dear Chelsea with my good friend @KevinHart4real. The new episode is out now: iheart.com/podcast/1119-dear…

Ladies, the stakes have never been higher. Make a stand for our rights, our bodies, and our future. A Trump presidency threatens everything we’ve fought for, from reproductive rights to equal opportunities. If we don’t show up for Kamala Harris, we risk losing so much. This is our chance to be heard and protect what matters most. Don’t sit this one out. Vote with your conscious and like your rights depend on it. Make a plan and find voting info in your state at IWillVote.com

Had one of my favorite 48 hours in Vegas ever. Got to watch @Adele do her thing with my cousin, and then go to perform the second show of my residency at the @Cosmopolitan_LV _lv with my opener Yamaneika who blew the doors off the joint, and then i taught her how to play blackjack and win!!! And I got a new jumpsuit to boot! I’ll be back in Vegas for show #3 on November 30th! See everyone else this Friday in Brooklyn at the Kings Theater! Let the good times roll!

I found my dreamboat. Happy cuffing season!

A new episode of Dear Chelsea with Lauren Lapkus is out now: iheart.com/podcast/1119-dear…

On this and every Halloween, please help me wish this slugger to my left a very happy birthday. The person with whom I shared a room with and fought so much we had to put scotch tape down the middle of the floor, and her side had the door, so I had to ask her permission to leave. What a joke. Shoshanna Mae! She goes by Shana, Shoshy, or Shotime if you’re nasty. Happy Birthday to my dearest and nearest, boooootiful sissybomber. You are da sweetest, da bestest, and da silliest, the most supportive, always a shoulder to lean on or tackle, and such a good mama bear to your cubs, and such a good sister to all of us. I know you hated me when I was born, and for good reason, but look at us now! I luuuuuub YOU!

As Michelle Obama said, “I am asking y’all from the core of my being to take our lives seriously.”

Every Halloween I have a Halloween party for children. I’m not sure why.

It’s a big deal that it’s not a big deal. @ZacharyQuinto is on the latest episode of Dear Chelsea, out now.

November 5th is right around the corner. Please vote!

Come end the year with me. 🍾 Up next: 10.25 Indianapolis 10.26 St. Louis 10.27 Kansas City #ChelseaHandlerLive

See you in Vegas! Next shows at the @Cosmopolitan_LV: 🎲 November 2, 2024 🎲 November 30, 2024 🎲January 18, 2025 🎲 March 21, 2025 🎲 April 18, 2025 #ChelseaInVegas

Doug looks just like his mama. 🤓