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๐ป: i think Iโve been spending my time thinking about whatโs next. i have been resting, but Iโve also been taking vocal lessons, and i have been preparing for the next album comeback.. just constantly thinking about the future. because of that, i figured you might be worried, so i thought itโd be better to come and talk to you face-to-face like this. i also wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings.
first of all, thank you so much to everyone whoโs been worried about me. it's been really been over 10 years, right? if i am being exact, since i was 14โฆ itโs been more than 13 years now. so yeah, itโs been 13 years.
during those 13 years with mark hyung, i relied on him so much. i learned so much from him.
whenever i was shaken, he held me together.
honestly, other than during concerts, i have almost never seen him cry but there were times he called me while crying. to me, he was more than just a memberโฆ he was truly like a real older brother.
in his family, heโs the youngest, and Iโm the oldest in mine, but to me, he was my hyung. really. more than any other โhyung,โ he felt like a real one to me. so after spending 13 years together, i depended on him a lot.
i think thatโs why many of you are even more worried, because you know that too. thank you so, so much.
as soon as the article came out, i sent Mark hyung a long message. i told him: everyone knows how hard he worked while living as part of nct. all of that will surely become meaningful steps on the path heโs going to walk. and at the same time, everything heโs done in nct will also become good steps for nct's future path. so i told him to work hard in a way that he wonโt regret the choice he made.
now that i am the only one doing two teams, of course i feel sad and worried too. but all the things i built up while working with himโฆ how should i even describe it? the energy and strength I gained from being with him are still with me. so now, i have become someone who can walk forward even without him.
of course, even if he hadnโt been there from the start, i might have still made it this farโฆ
but i donโt think that path would have been easy alone. still, because he was there, he gave me comfort, strength, and support. an all of that has built up into the strength that allows me to keep going now.
that is something ireally wanted to tell all of you, that you donโt have to worry too much.
mark hyung wasnโt my only pillar of support. i have the other members too, and i have czennies who support me. so i am not scared. i am not worried.
i donโt know yet what choices or decisions i will make in the future, but no matter what, the 10 years i have walked and the many people whoโve been by my side will continue to be with me. so i am not afraid.
and when it comes to Mark hyungโs decisionโฆ i know his personality well. i know he must have thought about it deeply. he probably went through a lot of stress and pain while making that choice.
of course, we canโt say whether that decision was right or wrongโฆ but i do feel a bit regretful about the way it was delivered to you all.
i knew about it at the time tooโฆ but honestly, there was nothing the members could do.
it was such a helpless moment, we really couldnโt do anything except feel frustrated and cry. that part is still really frustrating.
but still, thank you all so much. and going forwardโฆ i hope youโll continue to stay with us like you are now.