Writer. Director. Creative Brain. Create iconic productions and indie mags. Ex-MTV, Nat Geo, VICE, BBC. Made in London, rewired in Barcelona.
Joined January 2009
- Tweets 31,226
- Following 4,467
- Followers 4,978
- Likes 13,789
4,304 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
2 Nov 2025
Mind Blown: The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes
The bonkers story of how my brain exploded into fractals and I turned a rare tumour into art – meet ‘Clusterfuck’ the #cavernoma:
lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
2
149
My pals like to joke my epitaph will read: “I never wrote the f*cking book.”
But I did just co-write one – which is why it's got enough synth puns to make a grown woman bleep.
» lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
2
28
I don't just use AI to generate pics of dogs vomiting rainbows on the Sagrada Família.
A step-by-step setup guide to training Claude – properly – to write in your style. Plus, some unhinged AI images.
» lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
86
At the risk of making myself redundant, I asked Claude to reverse-engineer my writing style. Then compose a Substack with the title: EQ² AI = WTF?!
I didn’t expect it to chuck in a portaloo, Iggy Pop and cheese. Meet my sloppelgänger ↓
» lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
1
68
Life’s a bitch. Here’s a few distractions and remedies.
Read. Listen. Watch.
» lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
22
I named my first dog Emperor Ming in my Flash Gordon phase. Today, I have half a dog. Proving I can, sometimes, do things by halves.
Read on » lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
1
1
61
Morrissey cancelled his Valencia gig yesterday, blaming a lack of sleep. Get a grip, Steven. I haven’t slept since 1977.
My dog and I now share a prescription.
Read my latest Substack. Features an owl, a lark and talking dogs.
» lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
118
This week’s flashback comes courtesy of a date with David Schwimmer, the real Ross and a radical pivot. Plus, some rabbit holes.
Read » lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
1
107
The white lie that landed me a job at MTV, The Prodigy demands rent, and Iggy Pop smashes up Camden.
Read » lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
1
3
49
16 Nov 2025
Hey! Must be a devil between us
Surgery under a false name, my blood on a fascist’s hands, and the Pixies poke my third tit.
>> substack.com/home/post/p-175…
61
7 Nov 2025
Day off. How shall I use this morning wisely?
- watch Celebrity Traitors
- write a Substack about the time the Pixies’ Joey Santiago poked my tumour the night before I stole a Canadian’s identity to have it hacked out in a sketchy hospital in Argentina
>> lisagoldapple.substack.com/
2
163
4 Nov 2025
Anyone could drop dead at any point. But imagine knowing you had high odds of a stroke at any moment, without warning – meaning you might never walk, talk, or even breathe again. How would you live?
Read >> lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
1
32
1 Nov 2025
Happy Halloween! MTV is dead. But I’m not – yet.
Launching today, Goldapple Unplugged is inspired by the malevolent gatecrasher in my brain. If I have to live with a monster, when better to celebrate it than Halloween?
lisagoldapple.substack.com/p…
1
44
25 Mar 2025
3
96
24 Feb 2025
Interviewing Elon Musk's ex-wife in LA, somewhere between Gotham City Police HQ and Blade Runner’s Leon’s Hotel. When Westworld seemed dystopian.
148
Lisa Goldapple ⚡ retweeted
12 Nov 2024
🌍 Sherry Week 2024 raised the bar: 3,000 events, 29 countries, 15 Sherry Routes, and 8.5M reach. Plus, the debut of Sherry Girl! 💃💛 Cheers to everyone who made the 11th #SherryWeek unforgettable. Here’s to 2025! 🥂
1
7
14
563
Lisa Goldapple ⚡ retweeted
4 Sep 2024
To all the non-British people watching the first episode of season four of Slow Horses, it's essential to know that Jaffa Cakes are *technically* not a biscuit.
2
1
6
644
Lisa Goldapple ⚡ retweeted
14 Aug 2024
Registrations are now open for #SherryWeek 2024 – the world's largest international celebration dedicated to all things Sherry (4-10 November)!
Register your Sherry event now 👉 sherry.wine/sherryweek/regis…
4
6
707