also here maybe: @scottsimpson@mastodon.social — or actually @scottsimpson on threads is where I am going? Who cares.
Joined March 2007
- Tweets 7,601
- Following 448
- Followers 17,785
- Likes 30,650
477 Photos and videos
Scott Simpson retweeted
22 Apr 2023
Greek Orthodox Punk Celebrates Record Store Day Thirteen Days Later l8r.it/XViO
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11 Mar 2023
“Buckle up”
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10 Mar 2023
Doctor: Sorry, I'm not able to see your medical history because of HIPAA, you say you have some discomfort?
Pharmacist: OK YOU'RE GONNA APPLY THIS CREAM TO YOUR TESTICLES OR WHEREVER IN THE GENITAL REGION THE FUNGUS CROPS UP, HI MRS PETERSON I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU, ANYWAY…
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13 Dec 2022
Me: I’ll bet they don’t have Wife Type 322.6B, the wife who’s a bit of an ins… wow
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7 Dec 2022
My kids' school: Stay home if you're feeling sick!
My kids' school, the next day: YOUR SON HAS MISSED 3 DAYS THIS YEAR WHAT IS GOING ON AT HOME
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1 Dec 2022
You get on the band’s 727 and there’s a seat open next to each of them: Lyndsey with his shirt unbuttoned to his pubes, Mick picking his ear, John quietly weeping, Stevie feeding a live raven, and Christine. You’d sit next to Christine every time
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1 Dec 2022
When you’re a hip judge looking for a fresh way to sentence someone to death by hanging
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14 Nov 2022
Tough week Sam Bankman-Fried but TIA for giving us 10 great hours of Hulu in 2024
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Scott Simpson retweeted
21 Jul 2022
Parents picking a middle name for their child feels like the “now let’s do a silly photo” of naming
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12 Jul 2022
My favorite thing about Matt Levine: he always starts with something like “Let’s say you have an apple and you want to sell that apple” and by the end is like “which is why multivalent derivatives can never break <σ/.3” and the whole time I’m like yeah dude that checks out
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30 Jun 2022
Zero Franzen at this Barnes & Noble. I sensed it when I walked in… a disturbance… I didn’t know one could even exist without the other.
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20 Jun 2022
Saw the new Top Gun but never saw the first movie—I assume they cover the backstory on how these big machines can just… fly?
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12 Mar 2022
Before the internet this would have been unthinkable
What a time to be alive
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18 Feb 2022
I don’t know who Machine Gun Kelly is but also I know so much about Machine Gun Kelly
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17 Jan 2022
When a guy goes on national TV and shares your secret with the world
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