Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs

Joined March 2009
92 Photos and videos
Nothing gets Americans more fired up than a nil-nil match between two countries they couldn’t point out on a map.
61
6
96
13,376
Entrées at the Nazi dinner party were just following hors d’oeuvres.
5
9
59
9,740
Just bought a few pastas. Some serious. Fusilli.
5
5
59
7,514
Beethoven: Für Elise. Elise: Für me? Danke! Beethoven: Was?
8
9
41
6,750
It’s happening. I’m writing a book.
20
2
131
15,043
How did “nonetheless” get to be all together like that? Seems unfair.
7
8
53
6,730
F.D.R. J.F.K. R.F.K. M.L.K. Folks, from the flight deck, we’ve started our initial descent…
4
10
30
6,429
We’re going again tonight at 8pm eastern! Come chat with the writers!
The Family Guy writers have started a group chat! We’re chatting during the episodes, going behind the scenes, doing some AMAs… who wants to join??
3
7
44
14,979
The Family Guy writers have started a group chat! We’re chatting during the episodes, going behind the scenes, doing some AMAs… who wants to join??
22
7
96
32,169
Watch him try to blame the Scrubs reboot on Biden.
3
5
37
5,620
Anyone else’s iPhone being a total asshole lately?
5
7
33
8,277
And the Bad Bunny retribution begins.
3
7
18
6,286
The guy who stole my potato recipe is persona au gratin in my house.
12
12
104
16,508
Just had diarrhea but, as it says in the Old Testament, “between diarrhea and nothing, I’ll take diarrhea.”
6
6
25
9,180
Everyone in Hollywood is talking about verts. Call me old fashioned but I still prefer ‘zonties.
4
18
22
7,863
My mom just called Trump “full of baloney”. Not sure he recovers.
5
12
119
12,720
The 60s were a bad time to be a guy with three initials ending with K.
6
7
31
13,430
Hamnet is post 9/11 Shakespeare in Love.
2
3
29
8,751
And Iran. Iran so far away.
8
8
117
16,040