An investor once pressured me to meet him at a hotel at night.
I said no. I asked if we could meet during the day, at a coffee shop or in an office.
He replied: âIf youâre serious about this, youâll meet me on my terms.â
Thatâs just one of many moments Iâve stayed silent aboutâuntil now.
As a female founder, Iâve faced harassment and dismissiveness more times than I can count.
Iâm not sharing this to portray myself as a victim. Iâm sharing it because silence only protects the behavior. And because I know Iâm not alone.
Since starting my company, Iâve experienced:
- An investor who texted me late at night while drinking, saying he missed meâand asking whether I âshow enough skinâ in my party outfits, after a single coffee meeting about business.
- One who asked, âHow many white guys have you been with for your English to be this good?â
- Another who interrupted me mid-sentence while I was sharing an important partnership update to say, âBring your pretty friends to my island next time.â
- One who told me, âYouâre too pretty to be a founder. Just be an influencer,â and then showed me photos of women online wearing very little, suggesting I could do the same.
- An investor who said he kept forgetting I could codeâbecause I âdonât look like someone who can.â
- A founder I distanced myself from after multiple uncomfortable invites, who recorded and took photos of me without my consent. When I got upset, he said I was missing out on funding opportunities because he couldâve introduced me to investors.
- Another founder who made an unwanted sexual advance the first time we met. When I ignored his repeated messages, he told me he hoped my startup would fail.
These arenât just awkward moments. Theyâre degrading. Theyâre exhausting. And to say they havenât taken an emotional toll would be a lie.
I donât want to be objectified, or reduced to an image these men create in their minds.
I hope we build a culture where this behavior is no longer tolerated. One where female founders donât have to brace themselves before every investor meeting. One where we feel safe at work, at networking events, and in every room where decisions are made. One where competence isnât overshadowed by appearance. One where boundaries are respectedâwithout needing to be justified.
To be clear: These experiences do not reflect the majority. Iâve been fortunate to meet far more incredible, kind, and principled investors and founders than not.
But until this kind of behavior ends, stories like mine need to be heard too.