@DaveZucker profile picture
The Lord Reverend David E. Zucker @DaveZucker
Joined December 2008
  • Tweets 15,636
  • Following 50
  • Followers 165
512 Photos and videos
It’s called “exposure” because you can die from it. Pay your fucking workers.
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For #MyTwitterAnniversary I’m quitting Twitter. Join me.
Tommy Pickles is now as old as Stu was when Tommy was born. (Didi is a year younger.)
I took this photo a decade ago and I still haven’t shows it to @ryanqnorth. Time to fix that.
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Screw all of you, this tweet was gold.
The Lord Reverend David E. Zucker@DaveZucker
29 Dec 2020
A Fire Inside is a great way to start a Panic! At the Disco.
People love making meat products out of vegetables these days. What if we did the opposite? Can someone make beef protein into keto pasta? I wanna try some moodles.
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My favorite part of the #HPForbiddenForrestExperience was this really tall guy who was very obviously two kids in a trench coat.
You know, a bet a few artists draw those anime foot fetish commissions just to prove they can draw feet.
Saw a bunch of crows and ravens this weekend. I named them. • Cori • Corey • Cor Vidal • Corvidave
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This joke brought to you by the seven ornithologists and 11.5 million parakeet owners who follow #BirdJokes.
This might be the pinnacle of my comedic artistry.
The Lord Reverend David E. Zucker retweeted
Allison Raskin@AllisonRaskin
12 Oct 2022
I got a nose job the summer before senior year of college. When I came back to school people were like "Oh my god! You got bangs!" I had already had bangs. The morale of this story is that no one is paying attention to you so just do whatever you want!
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You know the REALLY funny thing is that today Michael Scott could pick up a 5th gen iPod classic for like $50 and everyone would be all “LMFAO what would you even do with an iPod this is hilarious Jim was this you?” 🥲
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This tweet dedicated to @deanmcgowan, the only person who will see and like it. Know your audience, kids.
So I keep seeing ads for sports betting apps with Kevin Hart and JB Smoove and literally no one else, so I have to wonder… Are these apps solely advertising to one demographic? Or does my browsing history just think I’m a Black man?
I sold a child-sized Boba Fett armor set from the 2000s to someone on eBay and I just need everyone to know their kid is going to win Halloween.
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I finally got to try a ripe cherimoya! In other news, I might have accidentally shot a seed down my throat but it wasn’t crushed so the neurotoxin inside shouldn’t be a problem. WHY THE HELL IS THIS A FRUIT WE EAT???
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Same is true for peaches, really, but the amount of cyanide in a peach pit almond is pretty low by comparison.
The Lord Reverend David E. Zucker retweeted
gender of the day@genderoftheday
24 Sep 2022
Today's gender is vague hand gestures.
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Okay so I know I slept on this for 11 years but you have no idea how long a “to read” list is when you used to work at a book shop. Anyway, John @scalzi’s #Redshirts is delightful and slightly scathing, like getting roasted by a dear friend. If you like silly Sci-Fi TV, read it.
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