Dear Xabi Alonso, now that you’ve come to Chelsea FC, these are the 6 rules you need to know:
1. Enzo Fernandez, Cole Palmer, Lewis Colwil, Moise Calcedo and Joao Pedro are unbenchable, unsellable, and unexperimentable.
2. Winning 15 games in a row and being in the title race is a must.
3. Under no circumstances should we finish outside a Champions League spot.
4. Finishing trophyless is a sackable offence we care genuinely not
5. Bring Kylian Mbappe with you.(if you can)
6. We do not lose any top any 4 teams (particularly that useless Arsenal) again and London derbies are must win . London is always BLUE.
7. Player experiments may be welcome , but if they don’t work, don’t force it.
Adhere to these rules, and you’ll have the entire fanbase behind you