The New System (of property rights, kingship and settled lifestyle) landed in Eridug. Many tribes were unified under the leadership of Alulim there. Slowly, generation-by-generation, the line of Alulim turns darker and eventually the wicked Alalngar takes the throne.
In the frontier of the Eridug kingdom, in a settlement called Patibira, in the middle of the night, a settled tribe is attacked by nomadic "native" ooga-boogas. The En-men (chief) of Patibira is slain and the ooga-boogas fight over NECKSTRVNG OF KINGSHIP. Just as one of the ooga-boogas attains domnance over his competing claimants, the NECKSTRVNG flies away, carried by mighty gusts. He chases it into the darkness; where eventually it vanishes in a flash of light and he roars in frustration.
At the ousted tribe's hideout, the widowed queen goes into labour. She dies during childbirth; the regent raises the baby into the air and the NECKSTRVNG of kingship falls on it. He is named EN-MEN LU-ANA as lightning falls from the sky.
The tribe used to worship a wild cat that would kill the villagers, and offered human sacrifices to it. EN-MEN-LU-ANA takes the place of one of the human sacrifice candidates and slays the wild cat. The tribe is scandalized. EN-MEN-LU-ANA speaks thus: That wild cat was of no use to us. Why do we worship trees and animals that are of no use to us? Instead, we should decide what plants and animals we want, and MAXX those out instead of letting all these random animals and plants take their space. Instead of going and finding boars and edible plants we should have boars and edible plants HERE. The things we are granted are the SKY and the EARTH and the SVN and the RAIN and the TWO RIVERS; those are what we should worship, everything else must be as we intend. Thus En-men-lu-ana invented AGRICVLTVRE. With AGRICVLTVRE he builds up his tribe's power and reconquers Patibira from the ooga-boogas.
In the time of Alulim the first GREAT EN-MEN, there had been a flame he had borne with him as he bestowed the NEW SYSTEM upon the tribes: a flame that was said to have been lit in a MOVNTAIN OF FIRE far, far in the East. This eternal flame had been kept burning in a pit deep in a cave in Eridug; one day, it puffed out. Alalngar (the GREAT EN-MEN of Eridug), commands EN-MEN-LU-ANA (the En-men of Patibira) to venture far away to the East, to find the legendary MOVNTAIN OF FIRE, and re-light the ETERNAL FLAME. Despite Patibira's increasing power, it remained a vassal to Eridug, and thus EN-MEN-LU-ANA accepted the command and ventured to the East.
With EN-MEN-LU-ANA gone, Alalngar occupies Patibira completely, burns down its AGRICVLTVRAL farms, placing his davghter as the vassal there, bestowing upon her NECKSTRING OF AUTHORITY, with beads for every great military accomplishment. Shockingly, EN-MEN-LU-ANA succeeds in his mission and retrieves the ETERNAL FLAME OF THE MOUNTAIN IN THE EAST, and brings back with him an army of Eastern ooga-boogas eager to start practising AGRICVLTVRE. When he returns, he is furious. He rips off Alalngar's daughter's NECKSTRING OF AUTHORITY and scatters the beads; her soldiers his existing allies immediately switch allegiances to him seeing the army of Eastern ooga-boogas behind him, and Patibira declares complete independence from Eridug.
EN-MEN-LU-ANA's allies want to start plotting to take over Eridug, but there are more pressing priorities. He needs to re-BVILD his AGRICVLTVRAL farms. And also he learns that to take Patibira, Alalngar had to take the support of a massive number of ooga-booga tribes; and in doing so he unintentionally brought them together, and now they have a "Triumph of the Noble Savage" ideology and want to destroy all tribes practising the NEW SYSTEM. So EN-MEN-LU-ANA offers an olive branch to Alalngar, who grudgingly accepts. They start covertly eliminating ooga-booga leaders. EN-MEN-LU-ANA has a lot of fun murdering the specific ooga-booga leader who was responsible for burning down much of the AGRICVLTVRAL farms.
When the ooga-boogas realize what's going on, they decide to attack the NEW SYSTEM lands immediately. EN-MEN-LU-ANA and Alalngar agree to band their armies together to finish off the ooga-boogas. Alalngar orders his soldiers "do not participate in the fighting, let EN-MEN-LU-ANA handle it all then we'll finish them off". EN-MEN-LU-ANA, anticipating this, had put a lot of effort in the earlier covert warfare and gets some ooga-booga tribes to exclusively attack Alalngar's men, some to turn on their coalition etc. and manages to defeat the ooga-boogas without being cut down too much. Alalngar's army is now both disappointed in their leader and not confident of their ability to win against EN-MEN-LU-ANA, so he beheads Alalngar, marries his daughter and captures Eridug, becoming the GREAT EN-MEN of all the New System tribes. He spreads AGRICVLTVRE far and wide, and the people worship him as the sky god An himself.
Three years later, he is slain in battle by the ooga-booga nomadic tribes of the Desert south of the great Oasis. His wife gives birth and he names his child EN-MEN GAL-ANA before he dies. As his remains are divided into halves and tossed into the two rivers to coalesce in the Oasis, his wife takes En-men Gal-ana and runs far to the West away from the usurper who has taken power in the chaos.
Once grown up, En-men Gal-ana returns to the Oasis and challenges the usurper. People first mock his claim of being the TRVE SON of EN-MEN-LU-ANA but the in the final battle between him and the usurper the sky itself marks him its TRVE SON.
En-men Gal-ana reigns long and keeps spreading AGRICVLTVRE.
The line of EN-MEN-LU-ANA continues, until it goes into the hands of a certain En-men Dur-ana. When En-men Dur-ana is a prince he tries to woo a girl named Inana by showing her how good he is at AGRICVLTVRE. But a boy challenges him saying: Wheat and boars is great, but I think sheep are even better than boars. We can also use its wool and I like drinking from its teats. Inana prefers En-men Dur-ana's offers to the Sheep boy's, but En-men Dur-ana is incensed by the challenge and sentences the Sheep boy to death. The Sheep boy escapes with Inana's help.
The Sheep boy raises an army with the power of SHEEP MILK, and challenges En-men Dur-ana to a duel for the kingship and the hand of Inana. En-men Dur-ana scoffs at the idea, preferring to let his army annihilate the Sheep boy's, but Inana declares she will marry the winner of the duel. The fight goes on for a long time, their clashes shaking the earth and the skies, but neither obviously having the upper-hand. Then, at long last, the clouds break way for the sun and the same mark appears as it did so many years ago for En-men Gal-ana. Nobody there alive had seen that mark, yet they all knew it when they saw it.
THE MARK OF THE SKY.
On the Sheep boy,
THE TRVE SON.
"DUMUZID!" they cry, meaning: THE TRVE SON.
Not by blood, that is obvious from a look.
"DUMUZID!" they cry, meaning: THE TRVE SON.
But in spirit. In ideas. In SVPERIORITY.
"DUMUZID!" they cry, meaning: THE TRVE SON.
Dumuzid slays En-men Dur-ana, and marries Inana, and takes the title EN-SIPAD-ZID-ANA.
"DUMUZID!" they cry, meaning: THE TRVE SON.
He says "My invention of sheep milk is one of many to come. This is just the beginning of history (which is important and based, unlike the retard fukupotato who will come many millennia later and tell you about its end).
"The night seemed to be at its darkest. The Great Flood had covered the earth. Those who didn't perish in the heat, were swept away in the flood. Those who survived the flood, died to disease. And those who lived through the diseases, died to our own stupid big-brain idea of sacrificing ourselves to ooga-booga animals.
"The sky god An himself had to descend upon this Earth to tell us: make the world BE as we intend it to BE i.e. DO AGRICVLTVRE. This is just the beginning, my brethren. AGRICVLTURE shall spread far and wide, in all directions. Further East than the MOUNTAIN OF FIRE, Further West than the SEAS OF FIRE, further North than the GRASSLANDS OF ICE AND FIRE, further South than the DESERT THAT FEELS LIKE FIRE. All men everywhere shall know AGRICVLTVRE. And with the power of AGRICVLTVRE they shall invent so many things, discover so many things about the world and beyond.
One day, when the night seems to be at its darkest again, when ooga-boogas have swept across the earth, equipped with the products of the genius minds of non-ooga-boogas, when ooga-boogas and non-ooga-boogas alike perish to disease, and to massacres by an ooga-booga religion, then An shall descend upon this earth and give us another genius idea: make the world DO as we intend it to DO, i.e. DO INDVSTRY. I don't know how to do that or what that means as compared to him I will always be an ooga-booga. Not only will he have drank so much sheep milk (which I also have), so will all of his ancestors.
"And the world will do so much for us we will no longer need to cope with grains and boars and sheep. We will be able to MASS-PRODVCE things like
- LEGVMES
- RAW ONION, RAW GARLIC
- CRVCIFEROUS VEGETABLES (KALE IS BEST BECAUSE IT DOUBLES AS A GREEN)
- WHEY PROTEIN
- CHIA SEEDS
- CACAO, MATCHA, CARDAMOM, CLOVES, CINAMMON, PEPPER, GINGER, TURMERIC, AMLA
- WALNUTS, PECANS
- EXTRA-VIRGIN OLIVE OIL WITH HIGH POLYPHENOL CONTENT (>900mg/kg), early-harvest, recent-harvest
- AVOCADO OIL
- EGGS
- BLUEBERRIES (best eaten frozen)
- POMEGRANATES
AND ALSO DO HIIT 3-4 TIMES A WEEK AND AT LEAST LIGHT CARDIO DAILY AND LIFT WEIGHTS AND GO TO SLEEP PROPERLY AND REGULARLY ON TIME. WE WILL HAVE THE CAPACITY TO FOLLOW THE OFFICIAL DIET FOR THE NEW ĀRYA MAN.
Uruk, after the first city on Earth