BeeBailey

BeeBailey

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Hector Castillo

Hector Castillo

@hekkycastillo

Jan 3

You can understand and empathize with what women "go through" in dating without being a simp or being idealistic and naive about women. In fact, if you do it correctly, you will be better at dating. I'll explain why at the end. So, what do women go through in dating? What are their struggles? 1. They want to be approached by men, because that's how the dance works. Man leads, woman follows...but this causes an unfortunate situation where they kinda have no power to control who approaches them or not. They can give glances, smiles, etc., but a man still might not approach. Example: I have a female client. A very beautiful, smart chick in her early 30's. She's very smiley and not at all RBF (resting b1ch face). The only thing intimidating about her as how beautiful and put-together she is. She tells me how she gives guys glances or looks and they'll stare back and then come close to her and look at her, but the at the last second back out. It's not disinterest but cowardice. The only men who consistently have the courage to approach are the players and she doesn't like most of them. But she can't "make" them NOT approach her without having an RBF (and even then). Her last boyfriend was actually a guy that she initiated the first conversation with, but even after that, they had to run into each other half a dozen times before he finally actually asked her out, and that was only after he decided he was moving back to his home country (Italy). Overall he was a very non-action taking or masculine guy and this caused a lot of problems in the relationship, eventually leading to the breakup. I told her I could have predicted this from the SIMPLE FACT that he didn't approach her first and take action. I told her that she needs a real man who has the courage to approach despite all the fears that men have (being rejected, being embarrassed, being socially shamed ,etc.)...she agreed. tl;dr - girls want men but most guys are absolutely dikless. 2. Most guys are unattractive to women, not because of looks, but their behavior. Guys, especially the blackpillers/lookmaxxers/redpillers CANNOT wrap their head around this. It fries their brain because they are low empathy or they're SO mired in their misery they can see the world. Women are NOT men. Men are primarily visual. Women are not. But because men ARE primarily visual and cannot put themselves in women's shoes, they think women judge by male standards. This is just not reality. Women of course LIKE looks, DUH, but it's NOT their primary drive. If they're writing a romance novel of COURSE they're going to make the love interest physically but that's because it's FANTASY. You write your FANTASY. In reality, behaviors > looks for women. There are more attractive women in the world (by male standards) than attractive men in the world (by female standards). So this idea that women are just DROWNING in men and attention is silly. Women don't CARE about most of the guys giving them validation. It's like a bunch of ugly fat chicks harassing you...you don't care do you? If anything it's lowkey insulting. That's daily reality for women. Getting oggled by unattractive dudes. It's better for the beautiful women, but only slightly. tl;dr - girls are living in a drought and don't have nearly as much choice as it seems, but they do have more average choice than the average man...but then problem #1 of them not being able to control who approaches them kicks in. 3. Women are SO afraid of getting screwed over. This is why they dangle the carrot of a good time behind time/investment from the men. "Not on the first date" and such and such "rules." These are designed to weed out the unserious men. It CAN be a good tactic but NOT because it weeds out the unserious men so much as it actually CREATES more investment from the man. Every man has a story or many stories of a girl who has made them wait to get the cookie and slowly but surely he got HOOKED on her because of how close he felt he was to finally getting her but then it's one more date after another...and still no cookie lol. Thing is, it's not manipulative or sadistic what she's doing, it's defensive and practical (there ARE a subset of women who do it maliciously, but they're rarer than you think). However, it's not a fool proof strategy. In fact, I've even seen some psychopaths that just learn they have to wait and wait and wait and then eventually she'll let them smash...only they're doing it with multiple women making them all think they are special to him, when in fact he's just spinning spiderwebs and pretending to give lots of investment...then he rugpulls them like a shady memecoin cryptobro and crashes the coin and she sees that he never was serious in the first place. THIS is the type of men that make women actually start mistrusting men and calling everyone an Fboy. NOT the guy who's just really assertive and honest about getting her in bed, but the guy who PRETENDED to care JUST to get her in bed. It's sad, but there IS NO FOR SURE STRATEGY FOR WOMEN. The only true "defense" against psychopaths and players is being a good judge of character...which leads to the next troublesome thing about being a woman in dating.... 4. Women are REALLY good at reading/understanding social cues. They're experts are reading faces and body language and picking up on social cues. Their "social radar" is really really good. The PROBLEM is that there's SO MUCH information coming at them that they get overwhelmed. Ever wondered why women are neurotic? This is why. It's like a super sensitive radar that is overloaded by signals on screen that it's hard to make out what's what. ON TOP OF THAT, they're not very decisive, cuz that's a masculine trait...so they have a hard time acting on information unless it's super clear. ALSO, they're naturally higher empathy so they not only got so many reads going on at once but lots of emotions coming it at the same time. Also, because of that empathy (higher than men) they find it harder to be combative and reject men, but they also know there are men who only want them for a good time so they HAVE to be careful (and many girls learn this the hard way by getting tricked). Unfortunately most of them find it hard to truly accept that most men only like them because of their physical looks. It's not that men don't like their personality, but since men ARE primarily visual, it's very true to say that men want them for their bodies MOSTLY. Obviously this doesn't apply to ALL men but I'm talking about the majority. Most women hide from this fact, I think. When pressed about it, most women I've met kinda admit they know that. But they hold out hope that it's not so true (but as men we know that, for instance, almost every man who is their friend wants to smash, meaning their primary drive to spend time around her is lust). I don't blame them for putting their head in the sand on this...it's a hard thing to swallow (it's a "red pill" for women). 5. Women are bombarded by all sorts of different messages from people with different agendas. I'm not even talking about "feminism and social media has ruined women!" Sure, that's influencing them, but if it wasn't that, it would be something else. Since women have been women, people influence and manipulate them. This goes for men, too, so don't think I'm saying men don't deal with lot of conflicting influences...but I'm specifically talking about women in this post. Women are told by their dad they need to wait until a man who loves them and cares about them comes along...except that's clearly not the recipe for being turned on and lusting after a man and the guy's who are really hot and fun aren't the super romantic nice guys usually, which is SUPER frustrating...then they're told by their religion or the more conservative people in their life that lust is bad...which is hard to accept because lust feels really good...and romantic relationships are fundamentally about lust...no matter how you shake it, you're engaging in lust, even if it's missionary position in silence at 2mph for 2 minutes and sanctioned by marriage. Still lust. And if lust isn't strong, you don't got a really good relationship going. Very boring. Safe, but boring (but of COUSE men want you to accept that cuz at least they get their nut, right? Lol. This is the funniest thing about trad bros who cry that women need to accept a boring but safe relationship! It's just them whining for women to settle for them and masquerading their dating strategy as morality lol). They're also influenced by other girls to settle down and get serious with a guy....because other girls in relationships want to make sure they're also in relationships to avoid them being too cute/single around their bf (the "dark side" of it; i'm not saying every girl who urges her into settling down is a psychopath, I'm just saying it's part of the pie chart of motivations)...or single girls want to take them out of the competition pool....but then on the other side, they might have opposite influences; wild party girls who are telling them to have fun and let loose and live like them (which is just as bad for opposite reasons). The problem is that women are much more easily peer pressured than men, because of the non-combativeness and higher empathy. And this all culminates into an interesting situation... 6. GIRLS REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE MEN. They like men A LOT. You got NO idea. The losers who never get any cannot fathom how much girls like men, because girls don't like them, so of course they don't like men! "Girls only want menfor validation or money!" Lol. Nah bro. Girls LOVE men. They want that willie in their silly lol. They probably love us more than we love them, on average (don't even get me started on the dingdongs who say brainless crap like "women love conditionally; men love unconditionally!" LOL no you don't bro. you like her cuz she has big tits and a pretty face. Nothing about that is "unconditional" my man. Definitions). But the bad thing about really liking men is that they love AND LUST for us really really hard. They wanna get bent over and taken for a ride by a man who they trust and love and hope he trusts and loves her, too, but because of EVERYTHING I wrote above, she's scared out of her mind of getting tricked/cheated on, she's getting influenced left and right, AND she's naturally DESIRING to be the follower and submit to a hot/trustworthy man, but most men are anything but. Most men are so mindnumbingly boring....and yet she still loves them. You ever wonder why feminists are so RABID? because they love men but have been hurt so hard so their love turns into hate (same goes for the incels reading this and already gearing up their asinine response; you are so angry with women because you love them so much and have been so hurt). So yeah, that's what women go through. They gotta sit around and make themselves as pretty as possible so HOPEFULLY the guys they want will talk to them, but they can't really STOP the wrong guys from talking to them...all the while they're getting pushed left and right by the world and they find themselves more and more lost because they feel like they have so little control despite it also feeling like all these men ARE chasing after that...it feels so empty. Now why does this help you?! 1. If you understand that women want an assertive, charismatic, cool, sexy guy, and what that MEANS behaviorally (it means taking action, being decisive, etc), you can do that and they will LUST for you... But also... 2. If you understand what women go through, you can empathize and be compassionate towards them, which is lovely IN AND OF ITSELF (you hear that, you dingdongs who are gonna respond "ohmygawd ur just doing this to get laid and pathologizing empathy hur durrrr"?)...but it's ALSO good for creating bonds with women. Women can FEEL a guy who likes them and cares about them, because your emotions will bleed through. They can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. But of course you need to do a better job of marketing/selling yourself by getting good at expressing those feelings...but u gotta feel them first right? In short, empathize with women. Love them. Care about them. And then approach them and try to sleep with them, cuz you BOTH want that. How on EARTH can this pedestalizing or idealizing or simping for women if I'm accepting their lustful side and going after it assertively and declaring that you should be a strong dominant man?! But I'm also saying you should have empathy and love for them, because how can you have healthy relationships with women WITHOUT those traits? Anyways, there you go. I pray my words don't fall on deaf ears. It's not easy but I've made it pretty clear.

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