Ain't no fool like a fool in love.
That's what my grandfather muttered through tobacco-bitter lungs.
Ash on the kitchen tile,
Coffee gone cold in a chipped-up mug.
I was young enough to laugh at it,
Old enough now to hear the warning hidden in the hum.
I've been stitching up my heart with trembling hands,
Thread thin as excuses.
Wearing old wounds underneath expensive smiles.
The sink drips time in an off-beat rhythm,
Radiator hisses like a serpent in confession.
Neighbors fight through paper walls,
Their apologies muffled by the evening news.
I know the scent of goodbye too well.
Perfume tangled with rainwater,
Hospital bleach.
Gas station coffee at two in the morning,
The metallic taste of panic pressed beneath my tongue.
I've kissed people while grieving people,
Held futures in my palms that leaked through my fingers anyway.
Ain't no fool like a fool in love.
I kept treating red flags like carnival ribbons,
Dancing through disaster with my chest thrown open.
Romanticizing rescues when I still needed saving myself.
I remember my mother standing barefoot in the hallway,
Eyes exhausted.
Teaching me that tenderness ain't weakness.
Still, somewhere along the road,
I confused self-sacrifice with devotion.
Confused being needed
with being known.
Now my thoughts sprint.
Rapid-fire, backseat baptisms.
Crash-landed daydreams and half-packed baggage.
I stack multisyllabic miracles on top of everyday tragedies:
Miscommunication, isolation.
The sick fascination with staying
long after the leaving starts.
Love ain't always roses.
Sometimes it's mascara stains on pillowcases,
Fists clenched in hoodie pockets.
The sound of your own voice cracking
while you swear you're fine.
Sometimes it's burnt toast,
Cold pizza.
Laundry folded in silence while somebody you adore forgets your favorite song.
And God,
I wanted to be unforgettable.
Wanted my name spoken softly like prayer through tired lips,
Wanted somebody to memorize the geography of my scars without trying to redraw the map.
But healing isn't cinematic.
No orchestra swells.
Just small revolutions:
Drinking water,
Calling back old friends.
Learning that forgiveness doesn't always require reunion.
So if I love again,
I'll do it with open eyes.
No martyrdom dressed as romance.
No begging at locked doors.
Just honesty.
Messy and magnificent.
Terrified and true.
Because ain't no fool like a fool in love.
But maybe the bravest thing we do
is risk it anyway.
Letting another heartbeat echo beside our own.
Despite every ghost of disappointment,
Despite every lesson carved into bone.
And if it falls apart,
Let it never be said I failed to feel deeply.
I was here.
I reached back.
I chose wonder over numbness,
Even when it hurt.
I chose to love like a man still learning
that being broken and being beautiful have never been opposites.