Memoir of Madness
Chapter 34
When I came into work the next day, Ms. Helfrich was dictating my recommendation letter.
"No, the comma goes after, not before!" She declared to our tech-savvy para.
Ms. Helfrich was a dictator.
"Mister Johannson, what are you going to give me for writing you this letter?"
My mind went through the possible gifts:
1) a pain in the neck
2) the pleasure of my absence
3) I thought about screaming. I already gave her my time. 3 years!
"Ha. Ha," I laughed—not too convincingly.
People were always suggesting that I was smart, but why would a smart person work a minimum wage job?
Necessity. There were smart people in Africa.
If Ms. Helfrich was transplanted there, I imagine she would be an oppressive stock of celery—a missionary, re-educating bad eggs.
I had to leave for my practicum. Denise was a school psychologist in an elementary school who brushed her hair constantly. Her son had Tourette’s—he enjoyed shooting ducks. FUCK!!! His mother bought him a shotgun for his birthday.
Denise didn't like me.
Once I said: "Who can understand a woman's mind?" Denise glared at me.
This was a legitimate question. Freud had asked: "What do women want?" He never got an answer.
I was obsessed with the question. I was 26 and women were a mystery, but Denise did not appreciate my curiosity.
My best friend's mom was working there. She didn't recognize me.
"I'm Alex," I told her.
"Oh—you were going to become a fireman."
"I'm going to be a psychologist," I said. "But I'm also trying to be a writer."
"You'll still put out fires. My oldest son, Josh, is the writer. Dave is more of a math guy."
"I remember. We were always competing in math."
"Josh finished his dissertation and PhD. It's on: How Education wasn't that bad to the Indians."
I kept my opinion to myself. The educational system stole the soul of the Native Americans.
I knew this to be true because Education was trying to steal my soul.