Here’s the issue
It’s not that simple
I personally make top 1% money, I don’t need anyone to cook or clean for me, I have a house keeper and can cook myself (I cook extremely well and have done the cooking in my relationships) or order what I want to eat.
Her perspective is that if she has to wake up and take care of the house and work, then it’s not fair.
My response to her is, if you get to stay at home, wake up at 10am, lounge by the pool, shop and are nothing more than an added expense to me, while I work 10-12 hours a day and wake up at 5am daily, what is your true benefit; because you just told me your value is cleaning and cooking.
I can pay for that from someone else and save money from the added expenses it would cost for me to pay for your food, shopping, etc.
In other words, she thought she cooked; but she just devalued every woman out there by using a bartering system to value herself, if you want this, then I get this; and the issue with bartering is that the value you offer must be greater than the value of the same or better services offered elsewhere.
Paying for your lifestyle, dealing with the emotions, the highs and lows, taking on the additional expenses of another person including food, car, etc, all so that she can wake up mid day, lounge by the pool while I slave, is not a trade off, especially considering it is a net negative to me financially to do this as housekeeping cost around $1,000 monthly for laundry, cleaning, etc to be done weekly and as for food, it’s less expensive for one person than two people to eat.
She just made herself a liability and that isn’t fair to women or relationships period.
The true key to this is, first putting Jesus first in your relationship. Then sitting down and talking about your goals, everyone is different but they should align and have a lot of commonality or willful compromise (willful part is imperative).
I for example believe in partnership, not because I need someone to make money; but because I value building together and will help you build as long as you have that desire and are working to that. I can pay for the housekeeping and food, but what do you bring to the table outside of this? Do you draw me closer to God, do you love me for who I am, are we growing together spiritually, physically, emotionally, and financially. If not then this isn’t a partnership, it’s a one sided relationship where more is being taken from me for your benefit.
You must grow in Christ Jesus and together and because we are all different in our goals and finances that’s something each partner must talk about.
Pray much success and love to you all. Please be patient and kind and loving to your person and Christ Jesus first loved us even to the point of death, we also should love fully.