THE BATTLE OF THE NYKE VAGINA, or THE TUNNEL OF VICTORIAN EGYPT
Chapter 0: She once asked me, when she barely had four suns in her own eyes, “Do we have grandparents?”
I told her, “Yes, darling mintleaf.”
“Then where are they?”
I kissed the top of her head and said, “Far away, Little Thur.”
Chapter -1: "Wait, hold on, this mirage stopped working 1000 years ago."
"Why do you always say, 1000 years ago?"
"It would take an entire night to tell you -- do you still wish to know?"
"Yes, I wish to know."
"As you say"
And then, a Giant Skull ate the Earth and spat out the remains:
قُلْ أُوحِىَ إِلَىَّ أَنَّهُ ٱسْتَمَعَ نَفَرٌۭ مِّنَ ٱلْجِنِّ فَقَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا سَمِعْنَا قُرْءَانًا عَجَبًۭا ١
And said:
I told you I was hardcore, binch.