The Devil Uses Toxic People to Lead You to Sin: How to Set Boundaries and Stay Charitable. With Fr Ryan Murphy, Heralds of the Gospel.
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➡️ "Catherine of Sienna said that we can’t develop virtue without facing the challenges that tough people bring. In a way we should be grateful for them because without them we’d never become saints ... The devil loves to use annoying people to provoke us into unkind words or actions or to drive us away from good things. We have to be on guard, ready to respond with charity and patience. Avoiding sin always comes first."
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Father Ryan Murphy teaches that toxic people fall into three categories, each demanding a distinct Christian response to avoid sin.
The first type endangers life, health, or soul—such as violent individuals or those pressuring others into wrongdoing. Protection of oneself and dependents is a moral obligation. This requires firm boundaries, including rebuke or departure, as tolerance in these situations constitutes sin.
The second type attacks God or the Church through blasphemy. Silence or false tolerance is never acceptable. One must defend the faith according to one’s circumstances and abilities. Examples from Christ’s Passion illustrate this: St. Veronica’s compassionate gesture, Joseph of Arimathea’s eventual action, and especially Our Lady’s steadfast presence at the Cross. True charity corrects offenders rather than ignoring offenses against God.
The third and most common type involves merely irritating or difficult people met in daily life—rude colleagues, stubborn family members, or grumpy neighbors—who pose no grave threat. These encounters serve as opportunities for holiness. God uses them to refine virtue, as saints such as St. Catherine of Siena and St. Therese of Lisieux explained. Practical charity includes thanking God for any good in the person, performing small kindnesses even without warm feelings, avoiding gossip, and stepping away temporarily when patience frays. The chief danger lies in one’s own angry or uncharitable reaction, which the devil exploits to provoke sin.
Correctly identifying the category enables the appropriate response while keeping the priority of avoiding personal sin.
➡️ Watch 13:16 min Video link 👇👇👇
youtu.be/X07t52EEp_0
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FULL TRANSCRIPT
The Devil Uses Toxic People to Lead You to Sin: How to Set Boundaries and Stay Charitablewith With Father Ryan Murphy, Heralds of the Gospel
[0:00] The Problem of Toxic People
They can ruin relationships, jobs, friendships, and families. Or at the very least, they know how to make everyone around them miserable. The real question is what should we do about these people?
Sometimes we think the best thing is to ignore them. Other times we confront them. We try arguing or fighting hoping that that will fix things.
Sometimes we just try to be nice even if the other person never appreciates it. After all, Jesus told us to love our enemies.
But have you ever stopped to think that there are actually three different kinds of toxic people? And each type needs a completely different strategy. That’s where most people make a mistake. If you use the wrong strategy, not only will it fail, but you could even fall into sin. So, in this video, I’ll break down the three kinds of toxic people and how to handle each one. Every Catholic should know this.
[3:05] The Three Kinds of Toxic People – Overview
The first kind of people are the ones who are a real danger to your life, your health, or even your soul. This could be someone threatening to harm you, an out-of-control driver, an angry family member with a history of violence, or so-called friends who encourage you to sin.
In these cases, it’s actually a sin not to protect yourself and anyone under your care, like your kids. Of course, sometimes you try your best to protect yourself, but just aren’t strong enough. It’s not your fault, but it’s a sin not to try. For example, letting your children play near a dangerous place, allowing a dangerous person into your home when you know that they can become violent, or continue to spend time with people who pressure you into bad choices.
Sometimes we try to be nice and tolerant even when it puts us or others in real danger. And that’s not what God wants.
So with this type of toxic person, you have to set clear boundaries to protect yourself and those you care for. That might mean rebuking them, sending them away, or leaving their presence. If you don’t draw the line to protect your life, your health, or your soul, that’s actually a sin.
We should never be nice with evildoers just to keep the peace. The world may tell us it’s better to be nice and to get along, but that’s not true. Sure, we can hope and pray for their conversion, but we can never compromise our own safety, physical or spiritual.
[5:02] Second Kind: Those Who Attack God or the Church
The second kind of toxic person is someone who attacks God or the church. We should never just sit back and tolerate that. We should always stand up for God and the church.
How we do that depends on our strengths and the situation. But what matters is that we try. So let’s look at some examples from our Lord’s passion.
Take Joseph of Arimathea as another example. He asked Pilate for Jesus’s body and provided a tomb, but he was also a member of the Sanhedrin. Maybe he could have done more to protect Jesus or speak out, but he kept his faith a secret. Sometimes we’re tempted to hide our faith to protect our reputation.
It’s not real charity to be nice or tolerant of blasphemy. True charity is correcting someone who offends God or helping someone avoid sin. That’s what it means to truly care for others.
Of course, the perfect example is Our Lady. She stood by Jesus through all of his suffering, staying at the foot of the cross even after almost everyone had left. She stayed faithful to him even when others doubted. Our Lady can be our comfort and our strength when our faith is under attack. We should always ask her to help us to do everything we can to defend the church.
In every situation, we have to honestly consider what we can say or do. But going along with attacks on God or the church is never right. Ignoring or tolerating blasphemy is a sin. Never do it.
[7:40] Third Kind: The Most Common – Daily Annoying or Difficult People
Finally, we come to the third kind of toxic people. The most common kind. These are the ones who drive us crazy day after day. They annoy us and frustrate us and seem to have all the wrong opinions. Maybe they’re rude or they’re boring. They’re stubborn or maybe just plain grumpy. Sometimes we wish they would just disappear.
Unfortunately, these people may seem toxic, but they pose no real danger to life or limb. They do not threaten our health or try to get us to sin. They do not insult our faith. In some cases, it’s difficult to create boundaries with them because there are people we work with or we go to school with or see every day or maybe even in our own family or at church. They might be our boss, our teacher, our brother, our teammate, our neighbor.
So as much as we might not like it, these are the people who give us a chance to practice charity and patience. Many saints have said that dealing with difficult people is how we grow in holiness. God uses them like a sculptor uses a chisel, cutting away our rough edges so we can become the masterpiece he wants us to be.
St. Catherine of Siena and St. Therese of Lisieux are just two of the many great saints who wrote about this. St. Catherine said that we can’t develop virtue without facing the challenges that tough people bring. In a way we should be grateful for them because without them we’d never become saints.
So how do we actually practice patience and charity? St. Therese of Lisieux offers simple tips for practicing patience and charity. Even in the convent, which you would think is a holy place, she faced plenty of annoyances. The devil knows how to stir things up even within a convent. St. Therese talked about sisters in the chapel making annoying noises when they were supposed to be silent. One sister kept rattling her rosary beads, making it hard for St. Therese to concentrate. She wanted to turn around and glare at her, but instead she practiced charity by imagining the sounds as beautiful music.
In another case, she had to care for an elderly nun who did nothing but criticize and complain. St. Therese made it her mission to treat her with extra patience and kindness no matter what.
So, here are a few more practical ideas from little St. Therese that we can try. First, if someone seems unbearable, remind yourself that God made them. Try to thank God for at least one good thing about that person, even if it’s hard to find.
So, here are a few more practical ideas from little St. Therese that we can try. First, if someone seems unbearable, remind yourself that God made them. Try to thank God for at least one good thing about that person, even if it’s hard to find.
Third, if others start gossiping or complaining about this person, either walk away or say something positive instead. And if you feel overwhelmed and can’t keep your patience, just step away for a moment. It’s better to take a break than to say or do something you’ll regret.
With these less dangerous toxic people, the real risk is letting our anger and impatience get out of control. And if we don’t address it, we might end up speaking harshly, gossiping, hurting their reputation, or even wishing them harm. And that’s when we fall into sin ourselves. The devil loves to use annoying people to provoke us into unkind words or actions or to drive us away from good things. We have to be on guard, ready to respond with charity and patience. Avoiding sin always comes first.
[12:00] Conclusion on Responding Correctly
So, as you can see, each type of toxic person needs a different approach. We have to be clear about who we’re dealing with so we can respond in the right way and stay committed to that. Using the wrong strategy can lead us into sin. And that’s what we always want to avoid.
This completes the core spoken teaching presentation (approximately 13 minutes of content after omitting promotional segments).
➡️ Watch 13:16 min Video link 👇👇👇
youtu.be/X07t52EEp_0
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Reposted from
@infidel_cracka & @HeraldsoftheGospel_OFFICIAL (YouTube