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Joined October 2016
- Tweets 3,516
- Following 380
- Followers 441
- Likes 23,817
737 Photos and videos
19 Sep 2023
UPDATE: turns out the plane never made it back from australia and he's been in purgatory the whole time
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31 Aug 2023
hey everybody. been a while. just logged in to say: farts should only be used for crap propulsion. farting for its own sake is an abomination
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13 Aug 2023
everything in my life is great right now. I know this joy contains its own eventual collapse but so does everything so whatever
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13 Aug 2023
hey ok cool yeah follow me on x I guess wtf is anything anymore
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27 Jun 2023
got another one of those invite codes to the other website. dm if you want it
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16 Jun 2023
trying to stay off all websites these days, but bluesky gave me another invite code. if anyone wants it you can have it. just message me and don't be a nazi with a checkmark
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10 Jun 2023
today I learned the lyric is not "dog potty bars" after ~30 years thinking it was
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26 May 2023
i'm gonna guess it's the blood pact with satan
26 May 2023
Henry Kissinger turns 100 years old tomorrow and his son reflects on the secrets of his longevity. Hint: It's not the diet heavy on bratwurst and Wiener schnitzel. washingtonpost.com/opinions/…
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24 May 2023
feels like only yesterday max was hbo max but really it was 2 days ago. where does the time go
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11 May 2023
been getting lots of emails inviting me to my 25th college reunion. guess they didn't see my response 10 years ago
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