One benefit of being a first gen wealth builder…you don’t have to worry about being in the shadow of uber successful parents who steer career paths! 😄
“Yes, my daughter, I aspire for you to follow in my footsteps and be a day laborer.” - said no immigrant parent ever
Most children of white coat investors will deal with shadow syndrome to one degree or another. Shadow syndrome refers to children growing up in the shadow of hyper-successful parents. Start preparing now to deal with it.
Here are 8 ways to empower your children in the shadow of YOUR success.
1. Live Well Under Your Means
Artificially lower your kids' lifestyle. It does not have to be the very best that you can afford. The problem is that sometimes that feels like you're punishing yourself. There's no reason you can't drive a Tesla while they drive a Civic. You can fly coach when you take the kids and First Class when you don't.
2. Communicate
ASK your kids how they feel about growing up in your shadow and start talking about it while they're young. You can let them know how some people in their situation feel and what they have done about it. You can have them talk to therapists or advisors who specialize in dealing with this kind of thing.
3. Don't Force Kids into a Particular Career or Major
Point out the pluses and minuses of a given career and how their attitudes toward work and income and lifestyle might change over the next few decades. But don't force them.
4. Lighten Their Burden
"Lighten their burden but do not remove the struggle." That requires a very careful, individualized balancing act. You've got to be really careful not only how you use your wealth to benefit them, but also how, when, and under what conditions you pass it on to them.
5. Help Them To Be Grateful
The children of the wealthy have a lot to be grateful for, but it doesn't happen naturally. What will happen naturally is called entitlement or "out-of-touch-ness." Gratitude has to be taught. This can be done by emphasizing how fortunate their lives are, through travel, through giving, and particularly through service to others.
6. Learn Where the Wealth Came From
Your kids need to understand the sacrifices you made and the work you put in to build your fortune. They should know where you got lucky and about the important decisions you've made in your career and with your investments. This knowledge will help them to have a more realistic view of their parents, the family wealth, and their own place in the story.
7. Build Financial Literacy
Wealthy heirs often have money dumped in their laps without any significant preparation. At a minimum, make sure they have general financial literacy.
8. Help Them to Be Wealth Creators, Not Wealth Consumers
If generation 1 is the only generation that ever creates any wealth, your family is highly likely to be one of those that goes "shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves" in 3 generations. But if that second and third generation can also learn to be wealth creators, that will go a long way toward building generational wealth.
Do you have experience with shadow syndrome?
What do you plan to do about it in your family?