the friend in low places | dopamine dealer | a bit of a witch | pastatute 🍝
Joined January 2011
- Tweets 53,860
- Following 1,126
- Followers 5,650
- Likes 166,376
7,721 Photos and videos
Listen.
Do not text me for advice.
I’ll tell you to eat the cake, text that guy, quit your job, burn her house down, start Pilates, leave your man, cut yourself bangs, book that trip, etc.
And, I’ll mean every bit of it.
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Brooke retweeted
Our most American experience so far🇺🇸
We met with the Houston Police department and ate typical Texan BBQ together. It looked in there just like in the movies. They even put on Ella Langley just for us.😂
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I can’t believe his whole brand is emotional intelligence and grounding and he acts like a bitch constantly. He’s the performative male final boss.
Victor Wembanyama walking by Jeremy Sochan and acting like he doesn't exist
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Brooke retweeted
Jun 12
when two people talking to me at the same time:
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Brooke retweeted
Jun 12
This guy is on such a generational heater I don’t think prime Michael Jordan could guard him right now
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Jun 9
I saw a picture of J-Lo in her bathing suit on Sunday so I’ve been in the gym two days in a row. 😩
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Jun 9
Happy Birthday to my soulmate, my cellmate, and my sister, @truefanjessica! 🥳
I hope you have the very best day. I love you, Jess! 🎂
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Jun 5
I was today years old when I found out there’s an NCAA baseball player with the last name Crotchfelt.
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Jun 5
I’ve been mean all week and I’ve said a lot of mean shit. After thinking about all the mean shit I’ve said, I think my favorite mean thing I’ve said is: “He has American Girl Doll legs. Meet Felicity!”
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Jun 4
I need a new book or two.
I prefer mystery/psychological thrillers.
Any recommendations?
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Brooke retweeted
Jun 2
Happy narcissistic abuse day to everyone who survived a lunatic.
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Jun 2
Something about J-Lo being with Roy fucking Kent don’t sit right with me.
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