Sometimes you gotta be ready for business, but you’ve always gotta be ready to party. Fake grass is always green. Airport beer enthusiast
Joined May 2009
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Moose retweeted
Jun 13
This is …. And I don’t say this lightly…. The single greatest piece of writing I have ever seen in my life
The Japanese have discovered unlimited chips & salsa and it’s beautiful
Jun 12
USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.
Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.
I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."
"They just come with the table, man."
They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.
This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.
I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.
"Did we…?"
"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."
Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.
My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."
Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.
I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.
Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.
I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.
Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.
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Moose retweeted
Jun 13
Just look at the passing and sequence of play for the USMNT in the buildup to Gio Reyna's goal to make it 4-1 against Paraguay in their World Cup opening match.
POCHETTINO BALL 🇺🇸🔥👏
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Moose retweeted
Just announced on-air by our crew.
- #1 USMNT match all-time
- #2 MWC match all-time (2022 Final)
Only the beginning. 🇺🇸
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Moose retweeted
Algerians doing jigs in Kansas... Brits eating barbecue in Texas... Koreans doing full on kegstands in Mexico... just goes to show that the entire world can be united by the simple concept of getting really drunk and watching a sporting event
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Moose retweeted
Jun 13
Greg Berhalter will pay for his crimes
Jun 13
As skilled and audacious as any player the #USMNT has ever produced.
A ridiculous finish from Giovanni Reyna. That angle 🔥
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Moose retweeted
Jun 11
Alexi Lalas commentating with Thierry Henry and Zlatan Ibrahimović
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Moose retweeted
Jun 11
Everyone always talking about “talent density” in Silicon Valley when we really should be talking about how 80% of pretzels in America come from a small region of Pennsylvania
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Moose retweeted
Jun 11
wheeeeee!
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Moose retweeted
Jun 10
Good golly Miss Molly, the feeling is back #RAHHHHHHHH 🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅
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Moose retweeted
Josh Harrison on the Pirates is what peak baseball looks like.
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Moose retweeted
Twitter the past 3-4 days
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Moose retweeted
Jun 11
Tough night for Dodger fans at the game. That’s a long drive up 79 back to Cranberry. Assholes.
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Moose retweeted
Jun 10
watched this edit and turned into a walking american flag
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