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Andrew Roffe @ASAP_ROFFE
Joined March 2009
  • Tweets 6,452
  • Following 51
  • Followers 9,298
206 Photos and videos
Get your tickets eventbrite.com/e/friday-may-…

FRIDAY MAY 29: POOCHIE & ANDREW PRESENT - THE WIENER ROAST

Catch Poochie and Andrew Roffe live at Comedy Bar Chicago for a night of roasting, and hilarious stand-up comedy!

eventbrite.com
The Wieners Circle@TheWienerCircle
May 28
Come out tomorrow night motherfuckers, support Poochie and up and coming local comedians
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Andrew Roffe retweeted
Kosher
@koshercockney
Apr 17
Brilliant 🤣 By @ASAP_ROFFE
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This is your yearly reminder that if you get rid of all the Jews, who will do your taxes?
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Passover falls on April Fools Day this year, so I’m even less convinced Elijah will show up.
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First Time at @TheWienerCircle
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When Your Therapist Works at @TheWienerCircle
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The Jewish version of confessional is talking to your lawyer.
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Do me a favor and check on your dad. He hasn’t been this confused since the new iOS update. #BadBunny
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I’d love to see a bowl game featuring the two worst college football teams called the @DUDEwipes Toilet Bowl.
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Andrew Roffe retweeted
Charlie Berens@CharlieBerens
5 Dec 2025
Who's gonna win? 🧀 feat. @ASAP_ROFFE
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I would get so much satisfaction in knowing that a Jewish doctor diagnosed Hitler with a micropenis.
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My level of Jewishness is I got so sick from overeating this weekend I thought I gave myself Crohn’s disease.
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How is it that people who aren’t Jewish and don’t know any Jews somehow became experts in antisemitism?
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I’ll tell you what would’ve been really shocking… If the Pope’s name was Herschel Rosenstein.
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Vatican City is about to get a @LouMalnatis
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Passover Glass of Wine Number One: Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, borei p’ri hagafen. Passover Glass of Wine Number Four: Barack attack I dunno. Elaine ew melancholy hell no. Pray for me my coffin.
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I just told my mom that Timothée Chalamet was Jewish. I have not heard her that excited since one of her grandchildren was born.
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Welcome to Jewish Thanksgiving. Where we stuff our turkeys and then tell them to lose weight.
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Andrew Roffe retweeted
Charlie Berens@CharlieBerens
14 Nov 2024
Here we go again... @ASAP_ROFFE
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Bar Mitzvahs should happen at 25 when you desperately need the free meal, money, and party.
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