@Alan_Machnik profile picture
Alan Machnik @Alan_Machnik
Joined August 2010
  • Tweets 45,288
  • Following 465
  • Followers 2,424
1,414 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Alan Machnik@Alan_Machnik
17 Jan 2013
My new Wombles Pepper Mill is crap. Everything that comes out of it is either over-ground or under-ground.
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I've discovered that standing naked at your window helps to deter Trick or Treaters. No, wait...here's two dressed as Policemen.
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It seems reasonable that an Australian Taxi Driver's salary is a fared income.
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Our microwave is a real humdinger.
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My abacus has been broken on countless occasions.
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What's the most dangerous dessert in the world? Russian Roulade.
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The most dangerous drink I ever had was a Hand Grenadine.
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#NewProfilePic
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Alan Machnik retweeted
Alan Machnik@Alan_Machnik
11 Dec 2022
My conspiracy theory for today is that a Freddo bar used to look like Jabba the Hutt, but now they look like Han Solo in Carbonite...#Cadbury #StarWars 🤔
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Alan Machnik retweeted
Alan Machnik@Alan_Machnik
17 Jan 2013
My new Wombles Pepper Mill is crap. Everything that comes out of it is either over-ground or under-ground.
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707
522
If you need to clean your 'bunch of fives', try using a knuckle duster.
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I'm giving up the David Bowie chocolate-diet. I'm just not enjoying a life on Mars, or the fact I can eat Heroes, just for one day. I'm taking it all back to the man who sold the Twirl.
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The first taxi firm was based in a log cabin.
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There weren't any thrones or famous chairs in the Star Wars movies, apart from the Rattan of the Jedi.
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The reason you can't hear a dog whistle is that they can't pucker their lips.
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What do cars and babies have in common? They both have rear wipers.
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Coming to a cinema near you, starring Matt Damon and Alan Titchmarsh...
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I'm really not sure about this Miami Vice reboot 🤔
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The art of perfectly folding a Union Jack is sometimes referred to as Origammon.
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I tried wearing a push-up bra this morning. If anything, it just makes exercising more difficult.
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I still can't believe James Bond doesn't refer to his favourite drink as an Aston Martini.
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