If a woman is genuinely interested then she’ll agree to a coffee date. It’s that simple.
Any woman who demands to be dined for a first date should be treated with suspicion. In which case, it’s probably not the man she’s really interested in but instead the free meal.
The research literature describes this as a “foodie call”. Kinda like “booty call” except for food lol.
Collisson, B., Howell, J. L., & Harig, T. (2019). Foodie Calls: When Women Date Men for a Free Meal (Rather Than a Relationship).
I used to think I’d be open to a coffee date as a first date but after this discourse I’ve dug my heels in and it’s a no. It makes no sense to me. What time are we going? What day of the week? Why can’t we just talk on the phone? What if I don’t want coffee because I really can’t have more than half caff and I have that first thing in the morning? Coffee makes me anxious. Opting into being even more anxious on a first date makes no sense.
All I’m seeing is guarded men trying to “get something” before committing to a date, while claiming it’s about getting to know each other. It’s not. You’re not going to get to know me over coffee. Coffee is actually pretty intimate to me. I would only have extra coffee with someone I trust. I don’t think dinner has to be expensive but eating with someone makes way more sense to me. There’s more structure, there’s a beginning, middle, and end. Coffee is… the few minutes it takes you to drink it and then ?? Structurally I don’t understand. And I don’t want to go out with someone who is hedging his bets. Do you want to date me or not? Do you want me to feel comfortable? I would be more comfortable eating something. Doesn’t have to be fancy, but I want to sit down and eat. We can go for a walk later but I’m not going for a walk with someone I don’t know, he might drag me into the bushes