Financial Planner, Sego Wealth Management. CFP®, EA. Boy dad. Ole Miss fan. Tweets are not advice, unless they're about food.

Joined September 2011
127 Photos and videos
I can feel how this was on my bare feet, even now.
I guarantee you had this floor or knew someone that had this floor. Am I right?
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One great thing about @Xfinity is that, when your internet is down, @XfinitySupport is utterly insistent you use an internet link to connect to support. Just superlative recursion.
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This is Corn Dog 7 erasure.
I'm still mad nobody has made a mainstream fast food restaurant with state fair type of foods. Why do I have to go to a fair to get this delicious stuff?
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Apparently the best part of having a Comcast outage is now they try to get you to sign a new contract before they will schedule a technician.
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Not even extortionate, really! Just, “let’s talk about how we can save you $X”. Let’s talk about getting my service back first!
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Andrew Sego retweeted
Jan 26
There's so much beauty in the world. Here are the beautiful snow capped mountains of Tennessee.
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The economic decision of @Target to make their gift cards out of dissolvable cardboard is truly brilliant. So far my son has lost two to the washing machine. That’s a helluva profit margin.
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29 Dec 2025
This and Obama’s presidential library looking like a prison from Judge Dredd. Why?
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Back at my doctor’s office for a checkup and I feel like I accidentally went back in time. Just filled out a bunch of paper forms, Golden Girls is playing on the 32” CRT, and I’m pretty sure one of the magazines in here has an article about Governor Clinton.
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Bad news. Golden Girls is off and now there’s some terrible soap on. Boo! Bring back Sophia and the gals!
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16 May 2025
Sometimes my kids at Cocoa Pebbles. They have no idea who the Flintstones are. This would be like me eating Buster Keaton branded cereal when I was a kid.
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13 May 2025
I’ve thought about this a fair bit, never more so than today when my son asked me about what color shrimp are before they are cooked. Twenty years ago there would have been 100 shrimp related pages, many aggregated into a Shrimp-themed webring called SkrimpNet or something. Nowadays you just have Wikipedia, which is basically the same thing except the shrimp page is run by the top SkrimpNet guy and he bans anyone who intimates shrimp aren’t people.
12 May 2025
the biggest difference between the internet today and the internet when I was a kid is that it used to have geography. you could explore it.
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Andrew Sego retweeted
As to Doordash a blooming onion from Outback Steakhouse, you pay a fixed price now and receive it later, it is therefore a futures contract and thus illegal under the Onion Futures Act
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22 Apr 2025
Looking at Amazon for a new alarm clock and I can’t decide between the Xirirnntj, the Hoookiru, or the Yiwjaocivu. Just page upon page of slop product.
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15 Apr 2025
Evergreen.
Happy Donald Rumsfeld IRS letter day to all who celebrate 💸
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Has our civilization built any monuments that could plausibly last as long and be as noticeable as the great pyramid?
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17 Mar 2025
Today I’m thankful for not having this guy as my next door neighbor.
Augusta National’s grass isn’t even this well-kept 💯 (Via IG / thelawndad)
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13 Dec 2024
Had someone forward me a scam email they received recently and the fraudsters added the Star Trek Federation logo to the letterhead, which I think is a nice touch.
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28 Nov 2024
Happy Thanksgiving to all of y’all! We smoked a brisket and a turkey. No one went hungry.
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