Musician and visual artist, former blue tick owner
Joined April 2009
- Tweets 6,241
- Following 438
- Followers 2,819
- Likes 3,130
247 Photos and videos
6 Aug 2023
LinkedIn VS Onlyfans. Both revolve around masturbation, but at least when you see a profile on onlyfans, it’s clear what that person actually does for a living
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5 Aug 2023
Of the “16 personalities” types, which do you think is the most likely to be a judge on The Voice?
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5 Aug 2023
For the past few years I’ve been teaching myself French. I’m still a beginner but getting better. I have French colleagues who tell me my accent sounds genuinely, shockingly Parisian. My secret? When I speak, I just do my most over the top, cliched impression of a French person
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5 Aug 2023
This advice does not generally apply to American or British actors doing Australian accents however. The harder they go the more they sound like Henry The Octopus
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4 Aug 2023
I’m looking for a YouTube channel that’s just videos of African gray parrots swearing with British accents
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3 Aug 2023
Have u heard the kind of things people complain about in restaurants… the temperature of the table water… want to see the manager over the colour of the witlof… I just heard a lady complain because there was chicken in her Caesar salad? Which she ate? I’d love those problems
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30 Jul 2023
This weather is incredible but it’s probably global warming isn’t it
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30 Jul 2023
Went to a house party with my wife last night for about an hour. I only spoke to my wife, and while we were talking I got groped by ladies I didn’t know, three times. On the car ride home I got in trouble for it. So anyway I just want to know if the matriarchy is a thing now
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29 Jul 2023
If one person describes another person as a “literal angel”, avoid both those people
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27 Jul 2023
If Brexit had happened in 2023 we could have all been making quips about being Euro-Divergent
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24 Jul 2023
You don’t hear the term “ba-donk-a-donk” very much anymore
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19 Jul 2023
I wonder, when Margot Robbie goes to the hairdresser and they comb her hair back flat and wet and button that little black mortician’s smock on her, does she look at her reflection under those cold white lights and think oh Jesus Christ too
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