Ew abeg. It’s nobody’s job to referee your relationship. You and your man should carry your load and go. “Nervous nerdy girl” you’re 42.
this is not the diplomatic move if you are a hot popular girl vulnerably approached by a nervous nerdy girl whose husband is inappropriately enamored with you.
the diplomatic move is to start subtly ice-queening the husband (but not so blatantly as to cause drama) and acting warmly towards the girl.
all other moves are open aggression, which can be strategically correct, but certainly are not “post receipts on the timeline to be vindicated” moves
so is this autism, or am I just southern and not competent in San Francisco Womanese?