Joined October 2022
- Tweets 35,478
- Following 129
- Followers 943
- Likes 150,295
7,888 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Jan 22
Some of my favourites:
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Does remind me of university graduation ceremonies. The hierarchy😅
I can't... I mean, this ridiculous getup is reason enough to boo them! 🤡
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Jun 15
"i just want to hear your voice, that's why i called"
bring back real lovers, fr.
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I dated a photographer.
Par uske paparazzi nahin hue! 🤷🏻♂️
Old but gold 😂
Jun 15
I dated a software engineer.
She kept upgrading my hardware constantly.
10/10 performance
Would not recommend to anyone
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A crunchy apple and chai. I'm not sure why I've always enjoyed that combo.
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Current feeling: I've been adopted by a loving Turkish grandmother. We've never met each other, but she sends freshly made, authentic Turkish food to my home. It's actually meant for my son but he doesn't eat it so I do. I feel so loved.
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Jun 15
if you take your bottom lip and connect it to your top lip you can shut tf up
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Jun 15
“Your breasts may be extra sensitive today.” Flo, please, it’s Monday!
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My entire political philosophy fits in one post:
Don't hurt people
Don't take their stuff
Live and let live
It really shouldn't be any more complicated than that.
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Jun 14
Tell men there’s protein in emotional intelligence.
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Jun 14
All roads lead back to celibacy, DND, gym, no roster, and being alone.
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Did anyone else read dictionaries and encyclopedias for fun as a kid or am I just weird?
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Jun 15
"Noh pahleez! Such a turn off!"
Jun 14
He lowkey has Obama's level of charisma (something i thought we'd never see again)
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Jun 14
Menopause is such a fun little season of life
You're exhausted by 2 PM, wide awake at 3 AM, overstimulated by group texts, mysteriously puffier than yesterday, your brain clocks out mid-sentence, and you are one chewing sound away from a felony.
I love that for us
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Jun 14
More pathetic comedians who think they are funny.
Instead of stand up, it should be called sit down... Actually more like there's the door, f off.
Jun 12
Just saw another clip from Pranit More's show and it's disgusting 🙏
He asks a dentist "Does it ever happen to you that a patient comes in and she has some residue of male sperm in her teeth?"
The dentist went numb like she couldn't believe what he had just asked.
Then he asked "If an aunty comes to you and there is some residue on her face, what do you say to her? Aunty, have you given somebody a BJ or is this a cavity?"
The dentist looked genuinely uncomfortable. He kept asking "Is there any problem with swallowing?"
The dentist said "No" and then he replied "then why don't girls swallow?"
The poor girl felt creepy and said "I don't know"
If Himanshu and Sejal get punished, then why doesn't he? He should be banned from doing stand up comedy. His every show just revolves around porn, sex and dirty jokes. 🤡
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Pourquoi se jettent-ils d'une falaise d'ailleurs?! Élastique ou pas, cette distraction est des plus étrange.
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Nobody wants a city on Mars. Nobody wants AI in every app. Nobody wants a robot butler. Nobody wants data centers everywhere. Nobody wants flying cars or humanoid robots. We want clean water, we want bees to survive, and we want a habitable planet.
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