BREAKING: The Supreme Court just overturned Roe v. Wade, ending our constitutional right to abortion. We know you may be feeling a lot of things right now — hurt, anger, confusion. Whatever you feel is OK. We’re here with you — and we’ll never stop fighting for you.
Day 21: R abandons plans to become global culinary mastermind in favour of writing jingles about fruit loops and shredded wheat. Does so while curled in a ball under a weighted blanket in the closet with trusty pet hedgehog named Mr Bananas. #worststoryideas
Day 20: a mysterious military cook and White House kitchen liaison named R starts providing cryptic recipe advice on marthastewart .com that hints at a global conspiracy and coverup of epic taste proportions.
Day 18: on a family camping trip a young girl discovers that throwing genetically modified corn into the campfire births monstrous mega kernels that rapidly form into a super-mega popcorn monster.
Ask yourself:
Could this meeting be a zoom?
Could this zoom be a phone call?
Could this phone call be an email?
Could this email be a text?
Could this text be unsent?
Could we in silence retreat to the forest?
Could we, by game trails & forgotten paths, vanish into the trees?
Day 17: a 19th century seance accidentally imbues an heirloom tea cup with a demonic spirit. A century later, after being in the presence of the cup for generations, a family is tortured by unceasing nightmares. Until one day...
Day 16: a dancer, bartender, and professional golfer travel across the country in search of a list of forgotten matriarchs that founded the first civilization.
Day 13: through a freak meteorological accident snails gain the ability to imprint their genetic makeup into other living things. The world slowly, slowly gets stickier.