Massive film fan - most genres except pornography and anything with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. Classic TV only, no "Reality" and no "Celeb" garbage.
Joined November 2021
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1,662 Photos and videos
Watched that Bruce Willis film 'The Fifth Element' because they said it was exciting - how wrong they were it was just Boron! π΄ #LunchPun
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My wife was in labour with our first child when the midwife walked in.
"Have you thought about epidural anaesthesia?"
"Well, that's very nice but we've decided on Phillip." π¬ #BadJokeFriday
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My new book 'The Complete History of Constipation' has been accepted by the publisher - but it hasn't come out yet!π #badjokethursday
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Interpol and the FBI are searching for the notorious criminal Scarface SchrΓΆdinger - he's wanted dead and alive. #lunchpun
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Bill Withers has a brother called Bear who's also a musician - he writes the tunes the bank plays when they put you on hold. #LunchPun
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There's a new restaurant called 'Karma' where they don't give you a menu - the waiter just brings you what you deserve. #MondayMirth
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What did the waiter in the Italian restaurant say when he left the customer's dessert in the kitchen?
"Sorry, affogato." π€¦ #lunchpun
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What's a nuclear physicist's favourite dinner?
Fission chips. π #sillysaturday
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Saw a brilliant horror film last night all about this Viking warrior who becomes a vampire - 'Norseferatu'. π¦ #lunchpun
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My canary was out of sorts so I took him to the vet:
"Looks like a rather nasty case of chirpees to me."
"Is it serious?"
"Yes, but don't worry it's tweetable." π€¦ #lunchpun
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Went into an army surplus store to buy a hand grenade - everything went well until the assistant asked me for my PIN. π¬ #BadJokeFriday
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Ordered a DIY book online - got a load of blank pages and a pencil! π #badjokethursday
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Never been as disappointed as when I visited the National Air and Space Museum in Washington - there's nothing in it.π #LunchPun
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