Be careful what you ask for. As you hunt more followers and engagement, imagine for a second the life of someone with 1million followers. I have a little glimpse into their world ; with my modest following , I now greet numerous people a day who know me by name, know my kids, business’s etc. if I had a dollar for the “tipoo maVeggie” in traffic or supermarkets; I’d be rich. 🤣
The gift: More customers know me
The curse: More dislike me.
I reply more hate messages daily with “pamh****” than hundreds of positive interactions. 🤣
For 99.9% of human history, our social worlds were tiny by today's standards.
In pre-industrial times, the average person would interact with just 100-200 people throughout their *entire lifetime*. Our social circles were defined by proximity and blood – immediate family (5-15 people), extended relatives (10-30), neighbors and community members (20-50), and a handful of merchants or specialists.
Anthropologists have long observed that humans seem cognitively equipped to maintain around 150 meaningful relationships – Dunbar's number – the theoretical limit of people with whom we can maintain stable social connections.
Then came the internet.
We've Sailed Beyond the Map
Today, an average user with modest success might reach thousands of people daily. A viral post can be seen by millions in hours. Major influencers command audiences that would constitute entire civilizations in earlier eras. Think Mahere, Daddy Hope, Chamisa etc.
I feel this contrast in my own life. My father is a pastor whose weekly church congregation rarely exceeds 100 people. He knows their names, their children, their struggles. Meanwhile, I interact with over 212,000 followers on X and 100,000 on Facebook – more people than my ancestors might have encountered in dozens of lifetimes combined.
Before,a Hollywood superstar would be known by millions through movies (fake personas) or magazine articles with well curated media trained narratives. Today … we are all ball out as soon as we pass the 150 followers mark!
When your following grows from hundreds to thousands to millions, you're not just reaching more people – you're entering an entirely different relationship with humanity itself. The mathematics of connection have fundamentally changed, but our brains remain calibrated for a world of 150 meaningful relationships.
This unprecedented scale brings consequences we're only beginning to understand:
- Asymmetric Intimacy: Followers feel they know you intimately while you cannot possibly know them all individually.
- Feedback Distortion: When thousands respond to your ideas, even a small percentage of negativity can feel overwhelming.
- Identity Compression: The complex reality of who you are gets flattened into a consumable persona.
- Responsibility Without Relationship: Your words can impact lives you'll never know or meet.
- The Negativity Magnet: As your following grows exponentially, both love and hate increase – but we're wired to fixate on criticism. Like noticing uncut patches in a freshly mowed lawn, our minds gravitate toward the negative, even when it's vastly outnumbered by positive engagement.
Finding Solid Ground
As our potential connections have exploded beyond all historical precedent, we must recognize that we're collectively experiencing something evolutionarily novel. No human wisdom tradition prepared us for audiences of thousands or millions.
This isn't about rejecting digital connection – it's about approaching it with appropriate humility. We are pioneers navigating unmapped territory with neural hardware designed for village life.
Remember that behind every avatar and username is a human being as complex and worthy of dignity as yourself.
Our digital connections may be new, but our need for genuine human understanding remains as ancient as our species.
Basically. We are fucked.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk 🇿🇼