More and more people on the moderate and conservative side are recognizing that feminism has been harmful. They talk about how it lied to women, made women unhappy, damaged families, hurt boys, and left men struggling.
But frustratingly, the conversation often ends in the same place: women as the primary victims.
Women are the victims of dating apps. Women are the victims of birth control. Women are the victims of delayed motherhood. Women are the victims of feminism itself.
Even if all those things disappeared tomorrow, the deeper problem would remain.
Feminism’s greatest victory was not dating apps, birth control, or women entering the workforce. It was teaching us that every social question must be judged primarily by how it affects women.
Can we say that children need their mothers without immediately shifting the conversation to whether mothers will be bored?
Can we say that a struggling marriage should sometimes be endured for the sake of the children without immediately asking whether the wife feels fulfilled?
Can we ask what men need from women without first reassuring ourselves that women will benefit too?
The family was built on obligations flowing in all directions. Feminism taught us to see obligations to women as moral, and obligations from women as oppression.
Until that attitude changes, feminism remains undefeated.