"Window of tolerance" is an important phrase in the context of fiction. It's one that I think a lot of you guys, especially westerners, don't fully understand or haven't put enough thought into.
Essentially, there exists myriad things that we as humans aren't okay with. "Not okay" can range from a simple turn-off, to something that would literally be traumatizing to witness.
To give an example: imagine if you witnessed someone, a real person, being beaten to death. For this example, let's say a young woman. This would be horrifying to witness and probably affect your mental health, right? It would be even worse if you weren't allowed to look away, right?
So why, then, can we witness all manner of horrifying and atrocious acts in fiction and be completely unaffected by it? The reason is simple: our window of tolerance has been stretched to a massive degree, because we understand that the thing that we're seeing isn't real.
It is well-known in psychology that humans are morbidly curious and thrill seeking, by nature. To be clear, "morbidly curious" means we are naturally prone to look into or observe things that are bad, dangerous, or unknown. Thrill seeking means a desire for "adventure," aka to have intense or complex experiences and do things that are risky.
With all of this in mind, ask yourselves a question:
If someone enjoys something in fiction, does that enjoyment carry over into real-life? If your answer is still "yes," you haven't been paying attention, as I just laid out, step-by-step, the psychology behind our ability to enjoy things that we otherwise *wouldn't* enjoy, in reality:
>Our window of tolerance is stretched massively.
>We are morbidly curious and desire to see things we know we shouldn't.
>We get a thrill out of things that are unknown, taboo, or adventurous.
>Therefore, we enjoy all manner of things in fiction, especially things we would not enjoy seeing in reality.
I get it. We all have "embarrassing" fantasies that we'd be ashamed to admit or talk about. Or at least, most of us do; those of us who aren't boring. It's only natural that you don't wish to admit it to strangers on the internet... but if nothing else, do yourselves the service of being honest with yourself about it.
We live in a world surrounded by humans who are morbidly curious about things, and we desire to explore these things through escapist fiction. "Storytelling" isn't just written words on paper, we experience storytelling everyday through our lived experiences. This is why even the most mundane of scenarios can be turned into a funny story.
Fantasy is meant to amplify this, to allow us to experience things that we otherwise wouldn't. When you blur the lines between fantasy and reality and shackle yourselves to the limitations of daily life, your rid your fantasy of its charm and purpose.
Yet we dance around these subjects, cowering away from the more "sensitive" or touchy elements of fantasy and fiction because we don't want to be judged by others. And you know what? That's perfectly fine. You don't have to expose yourself. But perpetuating the cycle that is needing our fiction picked apart, scrutinized, and approved by moral busybodies is endlessly frustrating and serves no one, least not yourselves. Let people enjoy their harmless escapist hobbies, and for fucks sake, have fun.