NY Times acclaimed author of “Icebreakers for Incels”, Financial Director for Wonka Chocolate Inc. Olympic Bobsledder, 1994 Norway. Father of 3. ~Campus Beauty~
Joined November 2024
- Tweets 4,666
- Following 71
- Followers 116
- Likes 2,908
852 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
17 Jul 2025
Shane Gillis bombing at the Espys just about sums up how popular the Espys are. Fuck you guys that monologue was funny.
258
268
31,232
1,779,024
I weigh an absurd amount for what I actually look like I’m not really sure where all this extra poundage is going. @ScootHorndawg what is this phenomenon called I’m like 20 lbs more than I was last summer
1
1
56
Gonna start calling any girl ever “hun” or “honey” subtly. Unless they are ugly, then they don’t get that luxury.
41
Jun 15
They really REALLY don’t tell you how depressing it is in unemployment. I swear I have a personality that causes the sadness leeches to suck my blood. However, I just took a job offer while on the chest press. Internship Shminternship. #Yep #LandscapingAgain
8
159
Jun 15
First time seeing a #Spielberg blockbuster in an actual movie theater. It banged obviously, pretty believable plot line. That being said I fully thought E.T was gonna make an Avengers type cameo at the end. Emily Blunt…Mamma Mia! Movie ‘Magic’ is so back. 👽🛸
8/10 Blowbacks
Jun 14
I have the bug for the theater “experience” that I’m not sure many other young people have. I’ve got my 17 year old gf to my right, and my middle school ex to my left. I’m a ladies man. I also just lied a lot but you can decide what I’m lying about.
Now Watching: Disclosure Day
1
3
291
Jun 14
I have the bug for the theater “experience” that I’m not sure many other young people have. I’ve got my 17 year old gf to my right, and my middle school ex to my left. I’m a ladies man. I also just lied a lot but you can decide what I’m lying about.
Now Watching: Disclosure Day
Jun 14
Like yeah I really should go to my girlfriend’s grad party today but no I don’t want to give her 20 bucks and a grad card. Guess I’ll just take her to a movie tonight as long as her boy best friend doesn’t come. He just got his drivers license.
1
10
1,077
Jun 14
Like yeah I really should go to my girlfriend’s grad party today but no I don’t want to give her 20 bucks and a grad card. Guess I’ll just take her to a movie tonight as long as her boy best friend doesn’t come. He just got his drivers license.
2
6
1,078
Jun 13
Yeah just took the boat out in Tonka 🤙🤙 Tonka yep just took the boat out my big surf boat in Tonka. Yep prolly gonna hit Maynards later 🤙🤙 on Tonka. Tonka Tonka Tonka I’m on Tonka I have a boat on Tonka. Yeah my boy has a boat on Tonka. Yeah we’re boozing on Tonka. Maynard’s
2
5
105
Jun 12
Pissed in my sons bed last night and blamed it on him this morning saying he wet the bed. Another great excuse to kick the living shit out of him! #ISeriouslyHateMySonToPieces
2
64
Jun 11
The American Final Boss. A pillar of everything we stand for. The grounds of which our patriotic Values are born. A safe haven. A watering hole in the Oasis. A tribute to our Forefathers. A pledge of customer service beyond the given standard. A realm where time halts.
The DMV.
2
101
Jun 11
Forget all that bullshit I said there’s two tortas getting married wtf is going on 😭😭
1
64
Jun 10
I quit my job today. For real. Job was shit. Pay was shit. Minimum wage sales isn’t for me. I really gotta figure it out. One day I’ll catch a break, and if #GodsPlan is for me to ‘Landscape’ for 5 more years, then there’s a bridge that’ll need a jumping
Now watching: Backrooms
3
12
201
Jun 9
Nobody:
These Minnesota Dorks at Lifetime after a team that’s not even in their conference lost:
2
82
Jun 7
It’s getting to be pretty remarkable how much my son gets the fist, that being said my wife is considering a period of longevity between us…Ya it’s no wonder your son gets a pounding hun! #KickingTheShitOuttaMySperm
56
Jun 6
I’m either deleting that account or putting my soul into it there’s no in between
1
3
145
Jun 5
Trash vs Garbage
3
146
Jun 5
I’m a #Fishing GOD today so happy I didn’t run that Pilates class this morning and had one of the gals take over for me! Catching pike out here like I’m trying to feed the family! #DidHeSayPike #WaitHeDid #SoThatMeans #Yep #RushPIKE
1
59