Singer for @sistersofmurphy (Celtic Rock) & Disintegration (The Cure tribute band) Glamorous tech writer by day. Reformed beer writer. Former creative.
Joined February 2008
- Tweets 17,668
- Following 888
- Followers 1,286
- Likes 2,938
384 Photos and videos
22 Oct 2022
what is the point of nascar racing with pickup trucks? Is it in case, right around lap 15, the driver's buddy calls for help moving a couch?
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17 Oct 2022
I just had to chase off the group of teens that have been breaking into cars in my complex. Glad their rock throwing is extremely inaccurate. Shit is getting ridiculous in Corn Hill
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14 Oct 2022
Ostriches must be the worst animal to farm.
Runs 70 mph? Check.
Can kill you with a kick? Check.
Hates you? Check.
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11 Oct 2022
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2 Oct 2022
I apologize for what I said about the #bils earlier. They know this shit much better than I do.
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2 Oct 2022
this year, the #bills are going to crush out dreams in the billsiest bills way that has ever billsed.
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25 Sep 2022
"It's the new iPhone 14"
"and...you got it on Verizon?"
You assholes are literally sitting in a giant Verizon sign. I hate advertising.
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22 Sep 2022
Nobody in the world hates you as much as the guy taking your pizza order over the phone.
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16 Sep 2022
"I only want to be with you" by Hootie and the Blowfish is the only song you can sing in its entirety without moving your lips.
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13 Sep 2022
I just accidentally knocked my plate of German noodles on the ground. I've never been great at Spätzle awareness.
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8 Sep 2022
"Cooper Kupp" is one of the most annoying athlete names ever, and sports media figures won't stop repeating it cuz it's phonetically fun to say
28 Aug 2022
Q: How long? How long must we sing this song?
A: 4 minutes, 40 seconds.
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28 Aug 2022
I'm uncomfortable with that term 'Ultimate Frisbee.' I've seen no proof that this the best a Frisbee-based game can get.
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Mark T. retweeted
19 Jul 2022
pizzaForUkraine.com lets you order a pizza to be delivered to someone in Kharkiv who could use a break from Russian shelling.
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27 Aug 2022
This is my friend. This is the culmination of all that is wrong with my life. Happy birthday @cbaker042
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27 Aug 2022
If you're trying to trim your 80 man roster to 53, ditching the rapist is a pretty easy call. #Bills
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