Stand-up comedian, actor, metal singer. According to Leanne's mom, I'm pretty 'out there'.
Joined April 2014
- Tweets 148
- Following 461
- Followers 281
- Likes 1,473
7 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
21 Feb 2017
The only person who brings me breakfast in bed isn't a person, it's a cat. And breakfast is dead mice.
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20 Apr 2024
I just wrote a review on Blissy Sleep. Sharing for coupon code yotpo.com/go/lbmQwrx0 via @yotpo
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Bonez Poley retweeted
23 Jul 2023
Hey @cityoftoronto , harsh white light is a great way to ensure nobody enjoys evening walks in the park. #citylife #parks #beautification #leisure #exercise
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3 Aug 2022
The 10 second rule is the opposite in the pandemic. You drop something, you need to wait 2 weeks before it's safe to eat
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Bonez Poley retweeted
7 Mar 2022
If you listen very carefully you can always hear Steely dan
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4 Mar 2022
just want to clarify this was NOT an open invitation for ugly people to hit on me
26 Feb 2022
I've dated some really ugly people so I think that makes me a good person
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26 Feb 2022
I've dated some really ugly people so I think that makes me a good person
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19 Feb 2022
#Pantera : For a band that wanted to bring forth the era of pants, they sure wore a lot of douchey shorts on stage
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18 Feb 2022
Phones can do everything these days. They even have this fancy phone-tracker app and the way it works is when you lose your phone, your friend calls it so you can hear it ringing... which is the only fucking reason anyone calls anyone anymore
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18 Feb 2022
Someone told me earlier today that I sound 50, so might as well tweet in kind. At least I look fabulous for 50!?
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7 Feb 2022
I have stitched up two different people's human skin, but I somehow can't fix my own pants
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Bonez Poley retweeted
31 Jan 2022
Things I, a white, straight, christian lady, have learned from the “freedom” convoy in Ottawa this week: A Thread...
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23 Jan 2022
I'm really outgoing but I'm also really socially awkward. This makes for an irritating combo for both me and everyone around me
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20 Jan 2022
People are always surprised I'm smart. I am off-the-rails-insane, so I don't really blame them... Like I know I just ran into this room half-naked and covered in paint. But I have actually read the book you're discussing and am prepared to offer an in-depth analysis
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20 Jan 2022
Why do we only get suicidal when we're sad? Someone pls remind me to kill myself next time I'm crushing it so I can end on a high note
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11 Jan 2022
Bonez: snubs nose at sound quality of mp3s and cellphone speakers
Also Bonez: listens to worn-out cassette tapes for dayyys
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7 Dec 2021
The only valid reason I can see for living with a romantic partner, is it's socially acceptable to be a total bitch to someone you're dating. Less so to random roommates
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19 Nov 2021
I feel both hungry and full at the same time. Literally, which is confusing. But also figuratively, this describes my current relationship with existence
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