Parody. 18
Joined July 2013
- Tweets 2,159
- Following 8
- Followers 581,958
- Likes 598
167 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
13 Mar 2020
I just text Adrián to borrow his goalkeeper gloves. He said why? I said because I don't want to catch the coronavirus and you can't catch anything with those on. I'll let you know when he replies.
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Boring Milner retweeted
🇭🇹 Haiti XI: Placide; Arcus, Ade, Delcroix, Experience; Deedson, Bellegarde, Jean Jacques, Providence, Pierrot; Isidor.
🏴 Scotland XI: Gunn; Hickey, Hanley, Hendry, Robertson; Doak, Ferguson, McTominay, McGinn; Shankland, Che Adams.
🏴 Scott 'McSauce' McTominay to lead Scotland to their best World Cup performance of all-time. Starting right here...
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Brazil v Morocco at 11PM.
The kick-off times are killing this World Cup and no one can convince me otherwise.
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I can see from the comments that my common sense take has rattled a lot of people.
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Supporting Morocco tonight.
They've been my favourite African side ever since AFCON was decided by an administrative protocol rather than football.
The game is truly back.
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Where do I know these two from then?
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Jun 12
FIFA just quietly changed football from two 45minute halves to four 22.5minute quarters and we’re only just realising.
I love it because it sucks the life out of games but are we sure we want this?
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Jun 11
South Africa are my new favourite team to watch. What a side.
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Jun 11
That opening ceremony was incredible, amazing entertainment from start to finish.
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Jun 10
My favourite part of England v Costa Rica was the weather delay before kick off, watching Mark Pougatch trying to fill an extra hour of pre-match coverage was a sight to behold.
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Jun 6
I’m calling it now.
The World Cup is ours. 🏴
Harry Kane’s goal is the difference in our first preparation match in Florida 🤝
ALT Full-time: England 1-0 New Zealand
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Jun 6
Buzzing for England v New Zealand later. All the ingredients are there for a perfect Saturday night:
- World Cup warm-up match.
- Threat of a weather delay.
- NFL Stadium with a pirate ship behind the goal.
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Jun 6
Definitely the right decision to dedicate a Saturday night to this.
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Jun 6
Paul Robinson.
You can only pick one player from England’s 2006 World Cup squad and place him in the current team. 🏴
Who are you picking? 🤔
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Jun 4
I don’t like music either but here’s a list of all the people I know for a fact trust me:
- Mum
- Neighbour (I take packages in for them)
- Postman (trusts me with neighbour’s packages)
🤪 Paul Scholes is a bit weird isn't he?
Never trust a person that doesn't like music.
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Jun 4
Nearly once per charge.
Jun 4
Pep threatened to quit Man City "100 times" during his decade-long reign as manager 😮
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Jun 3
In the 2014/15 season Leicester survived relegation with 41 points and a -9 goal difference, then went on to win the Premier League the following season.
Tottenham have just survived the 2025/26 season with 41 points and -9 goal difference.
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
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Jun 1
I have retired from football. I have decided to travel the world to see if Ribena tastes the same everywhere. I asked Danny Welbeck if he wanted to retire and join me. He said No.
🚨 𝗢𝗙𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟: James Milner has announced his retirement from professional football at the age of 40.
😱 964 appearances for club and country.
🏆🏆🏆 Premier League titles.
🏆🏆 FA Cup titles.
🏆🏆 Community Shields.
🏆🏆 League Cups.
🏆 Champions League.
✅ Retires as the Premier League's all-time appearance record holder with 658 matches.
A true professional and one of the game's great servants.
Enjoy retirement, @BoringMilner. 👏🏴
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May 24
Pep Guardiola had 115 reasons to say farewell to Man City.
This is the 116th reason.
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