tent stake enjoyer, whisperer of chickens, Ambassador Plenipotentiary of Good Decisions and Ideas
Joined September 2022
- Tweets 47,140
- Following 1,745
- Followers 48,722
- Likes 165,577
4,496 Photos and videos
Are you fucking retarded? The fuck is wrong with you?
I have been in EMS for like forever and 97% of my calls are all you being dumb
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I have been in EMS for like forever and 97% of my calls are all you being dumb
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Squirrel Matador retweeted
I would offer to chat with them. I would lead them into prayer, as an example of humanity. And pray in the power and authority of the Lord Jesus Christ.
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Bro if y’all could quit doing retarded shit that would be super awesome
Send this to your kids and tell them to never bungee jump off of bridges, especially in the 3rd world.
This is just retarded to even voluntarily sign up for this type of "adventure". I don't care if they do it hundreds of times safely with other people. It's just not worth it.
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You can make them out of cardboard tho
10 layers of aluminum foil do not a head gasket make.
In my defense I was 14 and lacked better means.
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No
Is there anything better than a game of catch?
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Bro this ain’t gonna go the way you want.
If aliens requested a meeting with a sole individual to represent the human race, whom should we send?
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It is not. You can do anything through the Power of God and a pocketknife and perhaps a welding machine
If it works is it really a stupid idea?
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You can also use pringles in a pinch. You just have to smash them
Sir. Stop with your voodoo car repairs.
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Just noticed he ain’t got no green sauce.
I see you bro. I see you.
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If you have a cool enough credit card? Nothing on the planet is banned
Sir, those have been banned by our government for your safety.
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No I’ve been walking around barefoot for like 7 days lol
You fuckin painted those toenails didn’t you? 😂
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Squirrel Matador retweeted
You fuckin painted those toenails didn’t you? 😂
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I’ve done this and poured black pepper in the radiator
Please don’t do this.
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Did it myself
Foot tattoo? You’re a baddy.
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Playing catch with your homies or throwing a football back and forth is one of those truly male experiences that women will never understand
It’s a thing. It’s awesome.
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This is the Honest Truth.
Everyone is born with a certain amount of athleticism and there's no amount of training you can do to overcome that. You can be the best at your level and a serious D1 athlete will mop the floor with you. They need to bring back Pros vs Joes.
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You can pour rice in the intake manifold and it goes away
*CARBON
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You think my accent is bad? When I went to Boston I thought we was gonna have to get pens and papers or flash cards
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It’s actually not that much running.
A MF who plays box to box you might run like 10k in a 90.
You pick when to run.
Too much running lol
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