I am a black lab pup that my owner Matt saved from an Amish hell. He's so nice, even when he dresses like a woman. Oops, gotta go- I just pooped in the house.
Joined March 2012
- Tweets 241
- Following 409
- Followers 217
- Likes 3
4 Photos and videos
2 May 2022
If I had a dollar for every time I saw my owner get laid… I’d have the same amount of money I have right now. #50YearOldVirgin #CodeRedRocket
10 Mar 2021
I just fucked the neighbor in front of his best friend. And the best friend was the dog. #BuddyCodeDontGiveAfuck
27 Aug 2020
I just puked up my owners seed. Oh wait, no I didn’t. He shoots blanks.
28 Feb 2020
It’s my owner’s birthday so I feel compelled to tweet, despite my lack of opposable thumbs. Happy bday, Matt, you cranky old fuck! I think today I won’t even vomit on your shoes. Tomorrow though? Gonna jam my paw down my throat and spew all over your clean laundry just for fun.
27 Dec 2019
The biggest loser this Christmas is my owner Matt. No, he didn’t get any coal in his stocking... but he did get a bloody canine dump under the tree. That’ll teach you to pass out drunk before taking me for a walk, you absolute prick. #SorryNotSorry #CodeBrown #MerryDumpmas
4 Sep 2019
Question for a friend- can you get doggy gonorrhea from an irresponsibly careless owner?
1
7 May 2019
Sitting on the floor, looking up at my pathetic owner in nothing but tighty whities, weeping loudly while he strums a worthless acoustic guitar. I know I’m supposed to be man’s best friend, but Matt Code- ladies and gents- is NO man. Fuck this. #FogOfWar #BlackLabProblems
26 Feb 2019
Matt Code hasn’t walked me in months. Partly because he’s busy being a dad. Partly because he’s so old he can barely get around anymore. Either way, this entire house smells like my anus. #ShitHappens #DustCum #Rochester #BlackLab
21 Sep 2018
Wow, this tweet came quicker than I expected.
20 Sep 2018
For years I have stayed away from Twitter because there was very little positivity. I will stay completely away from cynicism and destructive words. I hope to bring a spirit of optimism, which is so needed today.
9 Sep 2018
The only thing uglier than my owner Matt Code’s genitalia is his football team. How would I describe the #Bills in one word? “WOOF!” #AnAlarmingFranchise #FogofFootball
1
10 Jul 2018
Living as a dog in the Code family sure is “Ruff”!
Get it? “Ruff”? Cuz I’m a dog?
Seriously though, he abuses me sexually every day. Help.
1
28 Feb 2018
My owner got a little older today. Spoiler alert- his ejaculate is still made of dust. #Viagra
24 Jan 2018
Only fitting that the human pile of trash himself has moved back to the home of the famous #GarbagePlate. Like Pizza the Hut in Space Balls, it seems Matt Code is destined to die of self-consumption. #FogOfMalnutrition
11 Jan 2018
I may have moved out of #Astoria and up to #Rochester, but I definitely left a dump the size of my owner’s Giant head in the living room of our old apartment. Can’t wait to do the same in our new place. #FuckCode
24 Aug 2017
My partner in crime Riley just left Matt a slimy surprise in her diaper for when his lazy ass finally gets out of bed. You're fucked, Code!
25 May 2017
I just had to feed Riley while my owner reaches hour number three on the shitter. That man has serious intenstinal issues. #RochesterDiet