American 🇺🇸 Gay 🏳️🌈 Author 📖 Paratrooper 🪂 82nd Airborne Medic ⛑️ Disabled Veteran 🦾 Love God & my Dogs ✨Posts Gym Selfies & Life Advice | Single AF
Joined December 2021
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28 Apr 2024
Cloudy ☁️…with a chance of meatballs
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The local grocery store manager said there was going to be a limit to the amount of Fairlife Chocolate Milk people could buy at one time and I think he was implying it is because of me
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Really getting into spices lately
Bought some ground Sumac the other day… couldn’t help myself
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Meal prepping is going great so far
I’m really good at this. I’ve already eaten all the meals up until Friday. I’m way ahead schedule.
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Jun 14
They created a Monster.
Gave it pre-workout… & then they left the front door unlocked 👀
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Jun 13
Pandora didn’t have a Box (Pyxis)
She had a Jar (Pithos)
She was probably drunk and wanted more wine and oooops!
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Jun 13
Damn, how many fortune hot dogs do you have to eat to get to the answer? 🌭🥠🔮
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Jun 13
Butter has a great spot in the refrigerator. Everyone knows butter gets a high-rise deck view. Nobody puts butter downstairs. 🧈
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Jun 13
“I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.”
— Alice Walker | The Color Purple
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Jun 13
The TV Remote Control has to be a Man
1. It’s hard
2. It’s hard to find
3. It’s rarely where you left it
4. It disappears in a second
5. It gets things done (kinda) but it also distracts you
6. You hold it in your hands
7. You sit on it all the time
8. It makes you frustrated
9. It brings you relief but you never thank it
10. You don’t need one…but if you don’t have one… people will wonder why
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Jun 13
Change
I never knew how to embrace it
And I somehow change
Everyone I know how to embrace
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Jun 13
Love when the Burger King thinks of me when I’m thinking of him 🍔👑
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Jun 13
Tops,
We haven’t broken the deadlock.
The voting on whether The World Cup is a ‘Top’ or ‘Bottom’ thing is still tied. We need to go full American Idol and take it to the masses.
— Mgmnt
22%
⚽️ is for Tops
11%
⚽️ is for Bottoms
67%
⚽️ is Totally Verse
18 votes • 3 days
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Jun 13
Random screams coming from my building had me thinking something was wrong, because I live in California, & there is always something about to go wrong here…
But it’s just “soccer fans” screaming. Really loud, angry, frustrated, soccer fans. Or maybe they are happy & drunk. 🤔
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Jun 13
POV: You are at the end of your journey, almost to your goal, & the guard stops you. He starts getting suspicious… What do you do?
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Jun 13
When people die… their loved ones sometimes gather around and begin to give them tasks…
“Watch over us”
“Say hi to grandma”
“Let me know if there is an afterlife”
Don’t do that to me…
Let me relax when dying. Don’t give me a big list of shit to do in Heaven. Damn.
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