@cjsidebottom profile picture
NotCJSidebottom @cjsidebottom
Joined June 2010
  • Tweets 29
  • Following 0
  • Followers 6
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Apparently Irish bars still get pissed when you body slam your friends. Fucking hypocrites.
I'm going to start tweeting again, just for @adventureinside
Also, apparently that wasn't what they needed me to do for "Magic FM".
Tip: When performing magic shows, never rely on a monkey to be your assistant. I've been stuck under that trapdoor for 3 months.
Gonna go camp out and wait for the titty club to open. I go early cause the chubby girls try harder.
Seriously, fuck Bono.
Decided to become a hipster. Saw this awesome jam band last night, bought the album on vinyl. Now, where can I find a kick-ass fedora?
I'm drunk like a volcano. Fuck you, that totally makes sense.
Sorry for the lack of tweets lately. Stupid sex comas. Know what I'm sayin'?
Damn, I'm not going to get nearly as much ransom money now.
Whoa. Apparently I kidnapped a Justin Beiber impersonator. Or just some kid who looked like Beiber when I was drunk.
Every Friday the 13th I follow the same ritual: Get drunk and hit the strip clubs. Say what you will, but it works.
I'll get married when I find a girl who understands why our wedding invitations would have to include flamethrowers and a monster truck.
Just woke up in a cheap San Diego motel room. There's a large man laughing maniacally in the corner. I'm fucking terrified.
Football season is just around the corner. I'm so excited that I tackled a random kid as she came walked around a street corner.
By the way, still hiding. I'm kicking these kids asses at hide-and-go-seek.
Sorry for the lack of updates. Leading a caving trip and we played hide and go seek. Little bastards left me down there for 3 days.
For those who have asked, yes, I did singe all of the hair off of my arms this weekend. And yes, it only made me even more of a sexy fucker.
Most epic fireworks ever. Seriously man, this was the greatest 4th of July in the history of mankind.
The best thing about fire department background checks is they never seem to ask about illegal fireworks.
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