I wish that I could convey the seriousness of what is happening, but it seems that no matter how many times I keep telling my story, no matter how many times I share stories of others like me, people still donāt understand.
The brain stuff is like being stuck in your body while someone else is in charge.
The pain and discomfort caused is immeasurable.
Just trying to do anything that requires more than a couple steps to complete is so exhausting for my brain that it will force me to have to lay down after.
Sometimes I forget how to read or write or do math.
Some days I canāt walk or stand because my brain canāt talk to the rest of my body so my legs donāt work.
Sometimes my mouth wonāt make words when I talk but I canāt tell that Iām not making real words.
Some days I canāt recognize peopleās face or everyone looks the same.
Some days I canāt understand people when they speak. My brain cannot process it.
This doesnāt even scratch the surface of what is happening.
My brain thinks everything is normal. But itās not.
This is not normal. None of this.
It has been 5 years since the Covid infection that destroyed my smell & taste, made my brain burn for months, & erased my emotions (& decadeslong anxiety/PTSD symptoms, which seems pretty not normal). When I was cooking yesterday, I accidentally placed a hand towel on a burner. I was standing next to it & I still couldnāt smell it burning. The smoke detector finally alerted me to the burning towel so I addressed it. Later, I realized I put the butter up in the microwave instead of the fridge. My brain is not well. I am completely numb all the time & nothing fazes me. I know this is all very, very wrong but itās like Iām outside my body & nothing matters. I saw neurology once & they were insulting & dismissive & it was EXTREMELY uncomfortable, so I will probably not be getting help for these issues. Apparently this is all normal in The New Normal. Iām-43 years-old. The number of Americans reporting only a cognitive disability has increased 43% since 2019. We are in so much trouble.