Joined August 2009
- Tweets 83
- Following 45
- Followers 62
- Likes 24
2 Photos and videos
22 Apr 2020
Bonus of being at home, my twitter just got hacked and I was able to get it back after they posted two sunglasses ads. Why hack a guy who only has 76 followers and only tweets twice a year?
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2 Jul 2019
What’s the over under on the president wearing epaulets to his July 4th tank and plane parade?
11 May 2019
I finally realize that Sisyphus was just a dad trying to keep everyone from piling stuff on the kitchen table.
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29 Jul 2017
Just drank whiskey, ate cheese dip and went for a run. I assume this is what health care professionals mean by "healthy balance"
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29 May 2017
This storm and power outage has caused lots of day drinking in Memphis. I'm no Malcom Gladwell but I'm calling birth rate spike in 9 months.
26 Apr 2017
I really would like an explanation on why the Spurs mascot is a coyote?
21 Apr 2017
They're announcing the lineups, Kawhi has already shot 3 free throws.
18 Apr 2017
I want to tweet something funny about this officiating. Just. Not. Happening.
16 Apr 2017
So far we've had ants in our Easter Eggs and I've made one kid cry. Happy Easter!
3 Mar 2017
ATT texted me "happiness is a new iPhone". They're gonna have to work harder to get through my George Carlin & Bill Hicks defense system
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16 Feb 2017
Can someone please tell Maverick and Iceman that we are in the danger zone and they need to save us from the Russians.
25 Jan 2017
Since we're rolling any social and environmental progress back to the 1950's, think we'll get that living wage back?
Caleb Sweazy retweeted
15 Jan 2017
On August 21, 2017, a Total Solar Eclipse will blanket ’Muurrica & no other Land on Earth. Details: space.com/33797-total-solar-…
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9 Jan 2017
Please use trigger warnings. Lets create a safe space for our new President. #snowflake #sofragile
30 Dec 2016
You're ok with Russian interference in our elections? I'm terrified based solely on Youtube videos of driving in Russia.
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