The ice in my chest is reserved for my Captain Morgan. I'm the reason the Rum is gone.
Joined July 2009
- Tweets 38,566
- Following 3,391
- Followers 3,417
- Likes 56,477
6,683 Photos and videos
The scariest thing about teenagers is that they have full size bodies with pea sized brains
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Captainš“āā ļøConundrum retweeted
Apr 9
One minute, you're young. Then suddenly, you have a favourite pharmacy.
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He played stupid games and lost the prize š
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Captainš“āā ļøConundrum retweeted
Feb 27
Now repeat after me: I am witchy. I am funny. I am hot. I will stab you.
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You can be having the best day ever and then BOOM the bank will humble you
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Idle hands always result in me at a bar with live music š¶
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Captainš“āā ļøConundrum retweeted
Feb 21
Twitter is basically talking to yourself in public and occasionally someone nods.
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Captainš“āā ļøConundrum retweeted
I don't have any bad habits.
I'm good at all of them.
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Captainš“āā ļøConundrum retweeted
Feb 21
Honestly itās not the way I look that reveals my age, itās the use of complete sentences when I text. š
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Captainš“āā ļøConundrum retweeted
Feb 21
Believe me I've not mattered to better people than you
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Captainš“āā ļøConundrum retweeted
Iām in my fuck it era
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Last night it was a bar fight that ended as a witness at police station until 5am, tonight it's girls asking for protection. I don't know what it is that I end up protecting strays but I can't say I'm fond of it. I just want to dance š
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I was told multiple times tonight that I'm "scary". I'm honestly OK with that. I do me, you do you šÆ ā
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