Most people know what a stroke is.
Far fewer people know what happens AFTER a stroke.
Even fewer know that sometimes the effects of an old stroke can come back years later, temporarily, just to remind you that life is a vindictive little bastard with a sense of humor.
One of the things I occasionally deal with is a condition called Stroke Recrudescence.
Sounds like the sort of thing you'd catch from a questionable life decision involving tequila, poor judgment, and a Romanian hooker behind a truck stop somewhere, but it's actually a neurological condition that affects some stroke survivors.
For those who don't know, I've survived three strokes.
Not one.
Not two.
Three.
I've also accumulated enough other damage over the years to qualify as a mobile medical training aid. Multiple traumatic brain injuries. Forty-four broken bones. Torn knees. A torn Achilles. Polyneuropathy. Osteoarthritis. Sleep apnea. PTSD. Sepsis. MRSA. Shingles. Pneumonia. Salmonella. COVID. Hypothermia. A lightning strike that threw me across a yard.
At this point, if something goes wrong with the human body, there's a reasonable chance I've either had it, broken it, torn it, infected it, or otherwise found a creative way to piss it off.
Yet somehow I'm still here.
Unfortunately, surviving something and fully escaping it are not always the same thing.
When you have a stroke, part of the brain is injured. Over time, the brain adapts. It builds new pathways, creates workarounds, and learns how to route around the damaged areas.
Think of it like a city after an earthquake.
Roads are destroyed.
Bridges collapse.
Entire sections of infrastructure are damaged.
Over time, repairs are made. Detours are established. Traffic begins flowing again.
Eventually people driving through town may not even realize there was ever a disaster.
That's pretty much what my brain has spent years doing.
Most days everything works well enough that nobody notices anything unusual.
I work.
I drive.
I teach.
I photograph wildlife.
I build things.
I write.
I run businesses.
I annoy people on social media.
Life goes on.
Then one day the stars align, the planets get drunk, the universe decides it hasn't screwed with me recently enough, and something pushes the system beyond its comfort zone.
Too much stress.
Too little sleep.
Too much physical exertion.
Dehydration.
Illness.
Mental exhaustion.
Heat.
Or sometimes a delightful combination of all of them at once because apparently moderation is for other people.
Then suddenly the old stroke symptoms can start making an appearance again.
Words become harder to find.
Thoughts don't organize themselves properly.
Memory gets sketchy.
Balance becomes questionable.
Concentration wanders off into the woods and refuses to answer its radio.
Fatigue arrives carrying a folding chair, a sleeping bag, and a long-term lease agreement.
Imagine trying to run Windows 11 on a 1998 desktop computer while seventeen browser tabs are open, three are playing videos, one is mining cryptocurrency, and somebody keeps unplugging the power cord every few minutes.
That's about what it feels like.
From the outside, people may wonder why I seem slower than usual, more forgetful than usual, or less energetic than usual.
The answer is simple.
My brain is essentially running emergency backup systems while the main crew is conducting repairs.
The important thing to understand is that this is usually not a new stroke.
It's old damage temporarily making itself known because the brain is under stress.
It's the neurological equivalent of an old knee injury that aches before a storm.
Except instead of your knee hurting, your entire operating system starts sending error messages.
Unfortunately, there is no magic pill.
No miracle cure.
No special injection.
No wizard.
No healing crystal.
No essential oil distilled from free-range Himalayan unicorn farts.
The treatment is spectacularly boring.
Rest.
Hydrate.
Sleep.
Reduce stress.
Take it easy.
Wait.
That's it.
The problem, of course, is that "take it easy" and I have never enjoyed a healthy working relationship.
I spent most of my adult life in the military, security work, investigations, executive protection, survival instruction, firearms instruction, and a long list of other occupations where quitting was rarely considered a viable option.
My default setting has always been:
"Keep moving."
"Keep working."
"Figure it out."
"Push through."
Unfortunately, stroke recrudescence doesn't negotiate.
It doesn't care about schedules.
It doesn't care about deadlines.
It doesn't care about projects.
It doesn't care that there are photographs to edit, websites to build, gardens to maintain, videos to produce, classes to teach, or bills to pay.
When it decides it's time for maintenance, maintenance happens.
Period.
So if you ever notice me being a little slower, a little foggier, a little quieter, or disappearing from social media for a few days, chances are I'm not dead.
Despite rumors, speculation, and what some of my enemies may be hoping for, I haven't shuffled off this mortal coil just yet.
More likely, my brain has simply hung out a temporary "Out of Order" sign and is demanding a few days of rest before returning to regularly scheduled programming.
The good news is that it almost always improves.
The bad news is that while it's happening, there isn't much I can do except listen to my body, drink some water, get some sleep, and accept the fact that even stubborn old Welsh bastards occasionally need maintenance.
The machine still runs.
It's just got a few dents in the bodywork, some warning lights permanently illuminated on the dashboard, and every now and then it needs to spend a couple of days in the garage before heading back out on the road.