I type words on my home computer and then, using an internet connection, I post those words to the world wide web. Also, an Elementary School Principal.
Joined June 2009
- Tweets 30,789
- Following 3,924
- Followers 27,252
- Likes 742,573
155 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
16 May 2021
Saw a bird with a worm at 3:00 in the afternoon, which proves that it’s okay for birds to sleep in.
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Abe Yospe retweeted
23 Dec 2016
"Where did we come from?" "Where will we go?" These are the deep questions we must ask of the Cotton Eyed Joe.
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Abe Yospe retweeted
Jan 3
Vegetable compartment in the fridge? You mean second cheese drawer
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31 Dec 2025
I refuse to eat any chicken that a fast food restaurant calls "tendies."
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Abe Yospe retweeted
12 Jun 2017
The great thing about wearing a bolo tie is that you can easily hang yourself when you realize you are wearing a bolo tie.
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Abe Yospe retweeted
16 Dec 2016
Michael Buble singing "Santa Baby" just came on the radio and I changed the station. I JUST SAVED CHRISTMAS!
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Abe Yospe retweeted
26 Sep 2025
I would never, ever enter the Black Forest if it weren't for the ham.
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Abe Yospe retweeted
18 Feb 2017
Parenting confession: Sometimes I say "Nice job!" to my kids when really they just did an adequate job.
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1 Nov 2015
This Snickers wrapper says it was "Fun Size" and it's true. I did have fun. I really did.
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28 Sep 2025
I wonder if the buffalo care that they got taken off the nickel.
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28 Sep 2025
If I was a bat, I'd want to be an extra in the Bat Cave in a Batman movie. Think of the bragging rights.
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27 Sep 2025
Camels might be storing diamonds in their humps. We'll never know. Science hasn't progressed that far yet.
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24 Sep 2025
What if bacon doesn't really come from pigs... that's just want the pigs want us to think?!
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Abe Yospe retweeted
23 Sep 2025
Don't you hate it when you're digging up a body and halfway down realize you're at the wrong grave?
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Abe Yospe retweeted
22 Sep 2015
I wear a clown mask to sleep just in case one of my kids has a nightmare and comes to sleep in our bed.
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Abe Yospe retweeted
10 Aug 2025
Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.
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Abe Yospe retweeted
8 Aug 2025
My wife signed us up for a community scavenger hunt. So far, I've killed six scavengers.
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