“Give a man a fish; feed him for a day. don’t give a man a fish; feed yourself. He’s a grown man, and fishing’s not that hard.” -Ron Swanson
Joined March 2011
- Tweets 10,633
- Following 344
- Followers 233
- Likes 2,893
187 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
15 Jun 2020
Just gotta take a minute to show off my itty-bitty garden ❤️ I live on the backside of my apartment complex, so we don’t get much sun and don’t have a lot of space. Gotta move these guys around every couple hours, but it feels good to be back at it 👌🏻
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25 Feb 2024
At Waffle House and I heard the server say “I need a new job,” and then the cook aggressively flipped the knife hibachi style to cut the grilled cheese.
What’s higher than 5 stars?
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26 Apr 2023
You were so fuckin excited that they were there to see you.
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25 Apr 2023
You’ll just have to trutht them.
25 Apr 2023
Telling me you like my lisp does not feel like a compliment lol
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20 Apr 2023
If I did all this and my lady looked as disappointed as this woman does I would never post this video. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!
19 Apr 2023
Oomf shared this on her page and I just had to share it on mine…
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18 Apr 2023
I know the parents are sad, but I can’t imagine a situation where I wouldn’t lose my shit on the president during a phone call like that regardless of party.
18 Apr 2023
Last night, I had a chance to call Ralph Yarl and his family.
No parent should have to worry that their kid will be shot after ringing the wrong doorbell. We've got to keep up the fight against gun violence.
And Ralph, we'll see you in the Oval once you feel better.
ALT President Biden speaks with Ralph Yarl over the phone.
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18 Apr 2023
Narcissism. Your handicap is narcissism.
18 Apr 2023
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12 Apr 2023
So do I, that doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen.
Mostly because it would take some time to have the first 12.
11 Apr 2023
Nick Cannon says he wants to have his 13th child with Taylor Swift 👀
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31 Mar 2023
Hot take: If you stand directly behind the plate it makes it easier to decide whether the ball is or isn’t directly over it.
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22 Mar 2023
Guys I’ve been completely outta the loop on the “Hasbulla” guy. He’s 20?! I would have done the same thing Tyson did lol.
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14 Mar 2023
If I refuse to talk on the phone with you it’s because you interrupt too much and texting is more efficient.
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6 Mar 2023
Now this is a live-action remake release date I can get excited about!
5 Mar 2023
JUST IN: Scientists are reincarnating the woolly mammoth and it's set to return in just four years 🦣😳
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6 Mar 2023
There isn’t a person alive talking negatively about Chris Rock right now that is even close to being as funny as that man.
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2 Mar 2023
What in the Chris D’elia do you have to be typing into your phone to get “Sex” to auto-correct in ALL CAPS?!
1 Mar 2023
If Kentucky wins tonight, Cats are locked into the 3 seed in the SEX Tournament
That means the late game on Friday night
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Ian Stricklin retweeted
12 Feb 2023
I’m counting UFOs,
they shoot at them with jet fighters,
and in this moment I am shitting…shitting.
I’mmmmmm shitting my pants. 🎶
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10 Feb 2023
Took a while, but this is what we were waiting for.
9 Feb 2023
I know that for a lot of Republicans on the Hill their dream is to cut Social Security and Medicare.
Well, let me say this.
If that’s your dream, I'm your nightmare.
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8 Feb 2023
“Christianity was the fidget spinner of Medieval Times.”
😂😂😂 Cunk on Earth is a RIOT
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Ian Stricklin retweeted
5 Feb 2023
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5 Feb 2023
How is there not a website that sells sex toys and targets gay men called “Adam & Steve??”
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Ian Stricklin retweeted
5 Feb 2023
i cant breath
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