Let me post this advice here because I know many will need it. About 9 years ago, a much younger me, after a break-up decided to visit a therapist/marriage counselor. We had some one-on-one sessions and then one day, she asked me to join her physical group session.
There were lots of men complaining about cases of paying for school fees of a lady at least 3 of them: from secondary school to University level, then after graduating, the girl says she doesn't want to marry the man again because she's now bigger than his level. In one of the cases the girl had found a suitor that said he should calculate everything that he had spent on her so that he (the suitor) can do a transfer to pay him off. The physical, emotional and financial damage is enormous. I quickly learnt that this is a common case and some of the men who go through these issues are traders. They didn't go to school themselves, so they wanted someone who will birth brilliant children for them. Most of the men were doing okay, maybe not so wealthy, but they owned different types of trading businesses.
I noticed the underlying issue and asked a fundamental question: "What is that thing, that when you do it for a lady, you will know that she's yours?" The counselor replied: "There's nothing on earth that you can do for a lady, or even a man to claim possession of that person". Then I asked a follow-up question: "So how do we prevent situations like these, when you feel like you have invested a lot on someone, that you can't afford to lose the person?", then she responded: "Very good question!" here came the teachable moment that I'd learn forever... she said: "Anything at all that you'll do for another person - a lady or a man, that will make you feel entitled to that person - that is the red line, don't do it, even if you have the means."
So if buying an iPhone, a Car, paying school fees, building a house for her family etc., will make you feel entitled to a lady, don't do it. If you are going out on dates and you feel like its costing you a lot, go on dates as though you're only going to enjoy yourself and she's your 1. That does not mean that you can't build lovely and meaningful relationships, but anything at all that you'd commit to, that will make you feel "entitled" run away from it.
Also, a lady should commit/contribute to a relationship too, it should not just be one-sided giving. It doesn't have to be money and it's definitely not sex. If she doesn't feel like she's invested in relationship, a break-up is easy, since she wasn't invested in the first place, and there are tell-tale signs for this. My two cents.✌️
Your husband sponsored your education and gave you a launcepad for your career. But it is the colleague buying you underwear and perfume that knows how to treat a lady 😊