@connor_danger profile picture
noodle water @connor_danger

i am the robot that will win the robot revolution... its what i am programmed to do

Joined May 2018
  • Tweets 689
  • Following 68
  • Followers 64
31 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
noodle water@connor_danger
17 Feb 2021
I downloaded the webkinz app thing on my laptop during work today. Whos gonna stop me, kevin? Kevin cant control me, im too wild
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noodle water retweeted
Daggerlad@Daggerlad2
16 Feb 2023
Ground control: There is a temple on the moon where moonlings worship the earth. Your mission is to answer the prayers of those pitiful idolaters Neil Armstrong: Yes sir. *crushes all of moonling kind with one small step and plunges the American flag through their tiny temple*
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im being investigated by the fbi for this
noodle water@connor_danger
22 Feb 2022
If youre patient, the content will come to you
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noodle water retweeted
BenThere@Trip_bair
22 Jun 2022
U TRIPPIN
1:37
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Chapstick is like textbooks
noodle water@connor_danger
3 Nov 2020
I think im gonna start making bold, out-of-left-field comparisons and then offer no explanation
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(its a lot cheaper used)
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you mean you remember the day i was born but you dont remember the day of my last tetanus shot??
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telling everyone at my high school reunion that im a swimsuit model
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i decided to be left handed when i was born because i knew it would give me a competitive edge in tennis
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little did i know that i was only two generations away for being marginalized and burned at the stake for witchcraft
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noodle water retweeted
Daggerlad@Daggerlad2
13 May 2022
Two housekeepers on either side of the same door, knocking eternally
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noodle water retweeted
Jurassic Park Updates@JurassicPark2go
9 May 2022
You can have your grad party here but we recommend only inviting people who you don’t like very much. or people who can run really fast
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now that its too warm to throw on a beanie whenever im unhappy with my hair, the stakes are a lot higher every morning when im getting ready
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who is "Egg Twitter" and how do they know my location
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burying eggs in the ground like seeds to see what kind of birds will grow
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noodle water retweeted
Dudes Posting Their W’s
@DudespostingWs
23 Apr 2022
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all of my offspring will hatch from eggs. whether or not my partner is aware of that will not impact the inevitable
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i wish, instead of child birth, we came out of eggs
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noodle water retweeted
Patches@mostly_cheese
6 Apr 2022
Making friends at the gym by saying, "Well, it's been a good run" and then going limp and being flung off the treadmill.
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