The year is 2029 You wake up and see your government issued daily groceries arrive by way of a Palantir/Amazon/TSLA neighborhood drone. You open it, take your low grade THC capsules and mix your instant coffee. Donald Trump is still president. He didn't run, but people forgot to vote so he's just still there. You turn on your computer and send a few government approved tiktoks to colleagues after having your AI complete your daily rounds of emails. You head to the RFK gym after work where you hit the Epstein machine for a solid 45 minutes before a quick steam. You pick up some chipotle on the way home. After a solid diner you put on your Meta night goggles and suit, virtually fuck your wife. Pass out. Your semen is collected and sold to the Chinese. Life is good.

Incredible signals

I think everyone on this app is either lying about their normie investor friends or just surround themselves with mouth breathers because I don’t know a single person excited about or freeing up cash for the SpaceX IPO

Illinois Department of Motor Vehicles, the data company?

Entering my flow state like Hunter Biden

Things most Americans agree on: Groceries cost too much. Tariffs suck and make no sense. Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks. The debt is a mess. The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good. Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained. Americans are exhausted. AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you. Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF. Canadians are super fucking cool. Mexicans are chill. Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies. Good neighbors are a blessing. Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea. We all question, are we alone in the universe? We all fuck up along the way. Epstein didn’t hang himself. The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day. The Cowboys suck. Go Birds! Things we’re told to fight about: Me. Laptop. Vaccines. Transgenders in sports. Pronouns. That’s the joke.

I’ve never stolen an erection in my life.

So now that he’s succeeded I think we all can agree that Michael Saylor was clearly sent from the future to destroy Bitcoin

Revenue Achieved Per Employee the new metric wall st is going to be pushing in order to pressure companies to invest more into higher ROI AI and less into low-value human capital

my long term thesis has been invalidated on this 1 hour candle.

Dying at “He’s a person I’ve known for a long time.”

Just me or are the mass layoffs starting?

Why isn't Obama protecting us from ridiculous gas prices?

The first 3 sentences. That’s the entire story. We’re going to see political ad spend triple what it did in 2024, a presidential election year. apple.news/A9G5nL_4vT9eXeiJH…

He said he’d let you in his insider trading telegram chat but it’s $500 a month

If I were a betting man I'd say Kalshi wants your money in their pocket

Memecoins are becoming obsolete

What is this bloodbath I woke up to?!?!?

$DASH earnings tells me either groceries are too expensive so people are eating out or consumer sentiment isn't nearly as bad as everyone is saying OR everyone's putting their Chiptole on Klarna