Like the German for thank you with much more DANK... you.
Joined November 2010
- Tweets 17,941
- Following 1,740
- Followers 1,036
- Likes 10,774
1,936 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
27 Apr 2019
I love this time of year. Sunshine, birds chirping, the Lime scooter tree in full bloom.
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Stop. Please. I beg of you. I can’t see this pointless video again. It isn’t even impressive. It makes no sense. What are they even making? Why was it posted in the first place? Is this some code for sleeper cells? Will someone be assassinated tonight? Why is this posted so MUCH?
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Jun 17
Are there sleeper cells being activated by this video?? Why is it posted so much? It isn’t impressive even as a woodworking video, but I see it constantly. Over and over and over. What is this???
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Jun 17
We’re in a weird spot. Community notes (that existed before musk, but did seem to pick up steam under his leadership), does seem to be effective at exposing outright lies. It’s just these notes die once motivated actors can brigade it. The left is up now. The right is gone
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Jun 16
When my dog has had a bad day at the vet, the last of the trazodone coursing through his veins. He takes treats like a grizzled detective on his last case dangling a cigarette from his mouth.
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Jun 11
If Nintendo doesn’t do something funny with this (make it exactly the same/do a slightly enhanced 3d homage that still looks like crap), they’re cowards.
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Jun 9
We are experiencing a boomer-led mass psychosis on such a staggering scale. The likes of which not seen since maybe the satanic panic of the 80s. These people genuinely think a cabal is stealing the LA mayoral race.
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Jun 5
Convinced these people’s families are being held captive just out of frame as they’re forced to play these brainrot games to fill our timelines.
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Jun 5
Curious that voice of our generation @walterkirn sent me this disparaging message, deleted it, and then blocked me. Almost as if he feels a smidge culpable for the total chaos he helped cultivate.
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Jun 5
I’d bet @elonmusk entire fortune, putting me hundreds of billions in debt, that he will not advocate the same now. Maybe he’ll surprise us all and ruin me financially. One can dream!
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Jun 4
Someone could write a doctoral thesis and go on to fuel an entire career solely from the pathology of this single post. (Also… wrong sports Mr. President)
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Jun 3
Ah Shirtless in Los Angeles, the lesser known sequel to Sleepless in Seattle
Jeremy Allen White hiking shirtless in Los Angeles - June 2.
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May 30
Delicious
May 30
I’m actually pretty pissed at how badly they’ve bungled America 250. First they tried to invite Milli Vanilli and a bunch of other absurdly washed up geriatric one hit wonders. Then when that didn’t work they decided to convert the event into a Trump rally where Trump will talk about himself for 90 minutes. This should have been a massive, raucous celebration of the country and its 250 year history. Now it will be a political rally identical to the ten million other ones we’ve already seen.
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May 29
Ah yes, a conservative’s favorite pastime. Dreaming up a war on a thing they like and then fighting against imaginary people supposedly against it.
May 28
It's #NationalBurgerDay. The war on protein is over, and REAL American beef is back on the menu.
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May 29
This is so fucking stupid I don’t even know where to start. If we could even find a mineable asteroid, within reach of any space mission, made of gold or diamonds or whatever, the value of those precious stones would essentially go to zero. The sweeping people do for musk is nuts
May 26
All it takes is one mined asteroid and SpaceX just became the richest company ever to exist.
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May 21
Imagine saying you just got titmogged by a looksmaxxing foid to Benjamin Franklin.
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Dankchains retweeted
May 19
it was october 2024. the US economy was the strongest major one in the world. inflation was nearing 2%. the US economy had added over 2 million jobs that year. russia was losing in ukraine. china was rapidly falling behind the US. and 77 million morons voted to blow it all up
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May 19
Shit… I clicked too many of his weird Cannes pictures. Now Amazon is trying to get me to Travolta-maxx.
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May 18
Flight attendant: hey you can’t be up here. That’s the first class bathroom.
Me:
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May 12
You gotta hand it to Trump. He’s raked in billions from all manner of self-dealing and corruption, largely from his bullshit crypto enterprise. But scamming his own fans for sub $100MM profits is just a man in it for the love of the game.
May 11
Nearly 590,000 people paid $59 million in deposits for the Trump gold phone, yet a year later not a single device has shipped and the launch date has disappeared from the website, per YF
Trump Mobile’s updated terms reportedly now state deposits do not guarantee a phone will ever be produced or made available for sale.
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